How to create joy each day?

I was in a meeting last night and we were talking about what we know and don't know. While it seems easier for some people to smile and always seem happy, I got thinking that people who might not smile as often and seem distracted may not have had the time to look at how to bring joy into their l;ives each day. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo F. Buscaglia Actually, there isn’t any art behind it. Just that you were born to be happy, and you can show this happiness with that beautiful smile of yours. C’mon! Let’s see it. Okay, good. To some extent, we all know how to spot a genuine smile, basically this formula: Genuine Smile = Crinkly Eyes We are all sensitive to this genuine scale, so why then is it that when we cross paths with a stranger or casual acquaintance in the elevator, we give them a fake smile? That ‘polite smile’. You know what I’m talking about (don’t get me wrong, I do this too, unconscious at grocery stores, on streets, while waiting for something.). The lesson? Smile with your eyes! Feel it genuinely and it will come out naturally. Extras: check out this quick interactive quiz from BBC to test out your ability to spot the difference between a real smile and a fake one. Note: I am now smiling as I write this article. I love it! Thank you for reading and allowing me to express myself creatively. A smile is so simple, yet so powerful. Some noticeable effects of externalizing your internal joy are: People will be attracted to you – I don’t mean sexually (well, maybe that too), but people will feel drawn to your energy. When you smile more, you will carry an aura and poise that will draw people to you. People will look forward to being around you, knowing only that they feel great around you. People on the street, at work, your friends etc. We all like and want to be around happy and cheerful people, right? Optimistic – You’ll feel more positive about yourself and the world. Happiness & Joy – A smile is an expression of happiness and joy in you. Like an upward spiral, a smile will boost the happiness you feel. Healthy – A smile can affect your internal state, which can have physiological impact on your physical and mental health. Approachable – A smile is so welcoming and will make people feel more at ease. Making Other People Happy – A smile has the power to make other people feel good about themselves. It’s heart-warming and has the power to cheer up others instantly. Smiles Are Contagious – Others can quickly and easily catch it and will experience the above ‘side effects’. Take The Smiling Challenge! Smile at Strangers -You know those times when we cross paths with a stranger or accidentally catch someone’s gaze, and we (both) would suddenly look away in awkwardness or pretend we are looking at something else? Well, the challenge is to give them a big smile. A genuine smile, showing teeth and everything. Deepak Chopra talks about giving each person you encounter a small gift. I do this with a smile. Why not? It doesn’t cost us anything. Plus, it’s a lot more fun than feeling awkward and pretending you’re not there.I also love to see people’s reactions when you smile at them, and they aren’t expecting it. Some blush, and others are surprised and smile back, which makes me feel all warm inside. Smile at Work -Living under a routine, we can easily be in a zombie-like state when coming into work. We zip into work quickly following the same routines we’ve habituated. Our target is to get to work, and we can sometimes forget about the people around us, in other cubes/offices/departments. So, the challenge is to practice beaming with smile as you come into work. Smile genuinely with people you meet. Be completely pleased to see them. Make it a focus for the day, to bring more happiness into the lives of others. Ask them genuinely and infused with energy, “How are ya?” “How was your weekend?” Watch the smiles surface on their face. A Small Compliment with Your Smile -When meeting or encountering people. Look for things you admire or like about them, however small, let them know. A small genuine compliment can go a long way to lift people’s spirits. I’ve found it useful to be conscious of things that make me smile. You might want to spend a few minutes making a list of things that brings a smile to your face. Some Moments That Make Me Smile are: When Zippy (my 10 week Jack Russel) growls me for not getting her into the room (She's only 10-12 cm tall and I am 6foot). When I practice gratitude ‘sessions’ When I reach mini goals throughout the day. When I read comments left by readers. More Tips To Bring Smiles into Your Life Smiling Journal – For two weeks, record the moments that brought out your wonderful smile. If you are ever feel down, flip through this book to be reminded of things that make you smile. Experience those moments and notice your state shift to a positive one. You cannot be both angry and smiling at the same time. I learned in physiological psychology that if the physical action conflicts with that of your feeling, the feeling inside will shift to match that of your outer sensation. One way to shift your emotion is to change your physiology.A journal will bring smiles through noticing the good things as well. Appreciation – Identify things that you are grateful for. Then focus on those things as much as possible. Humor – Make a point to watch a comedy movie. To go a comedy club. Hang out with people who make you laugh. Go On a Self Date – When we feel more connected with ourselves, we feel more joy and tend to naturally smile more. Find Innocence - Observe a small child or a pet at play with total ease and freedom. Watch their innocence, enjoy their presence and yours. Are you smiling? Do you feel happy for them? That’s because you are connecting with the same innocence within yourself. What makes you smile? Who made you smile today? Share your joy and happiness in a comment! See you there. *smiles* Ignite the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I MUCK UP?

The other day I spoke about making mistakes. While making a mistake isn't bad, repeating the same one over and over is. We must learn from the things we do. Your failure may prove to be an asset, provided you know why you failed. There are a few occasions during our brief time on earth when most of us experience great flashes of insight, great moments of truth that forever change the course of our lives. Most of those experiences result from spectacular failures, not from outstanding successes. It is from the failures that so tested and dismayed us that we learn the most lasting lessons. When you are the unwilling recipient of a great moment of truth, extract the useful lessons and then put the entire episode behind you. Learn from your failures, forget about them, and move on to better things. Take time today to think over what you have done throughout he day. SAsk yourself what worked and what could I have done better. Igniting the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

Learn from your mistakes

If you don’t know why you failed, you are no wiser than when you began. There’s an old saying that those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. So it is with our failures. Unless we learn from our mistakes, we are likely to repeat them until we learn from such experiences and correct our course-or give up and accept temporary defeat as permanent failure. Every setback you encounter in life contains valuable information that, if you study it carefully, will eventually lead you to success. Without adversity, you would never develop wisdom, and without wisdom, success would be short lived indeed. When you make a mistake, say, “That’s good! I’ve gotten that out of the way. I will never do that again.” You will no doubt make other mistakes, but they won’t bother you nearly as much when you treat them as learning experiences. By learning from our mistakes we are one step closer to knowing what ignites our fire. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

Develop A Prosperity Consciousness!!!

For a long long time I have heard people comment about how they are stuck in a rut and ask me why they are in the place they are now. If they were to take note of the words they were using they would have answered their own concerns. They were creating their own state of feeling stuck and or feeling of helplessness due to the things they were thinking and or saying. The starting point of all riches is the development of a prosperity consciousness. You must become a financial success in your thinking long before you achieve it in your reality. Both poverty and riches are the result of a state of mind, and the most important single step you ever take on the road to wealth and financial independence is the decision to change your thinking, to impress into your mind an unshakable belief that you can and will achieve your financial goals. This must happen before anything else happens. When I was growing up, I was fascinated by stories of successful men and women and how they made and lost their fortunes, and then made them over again. I read about the importance of a prosperity consciousness in the book, Think And Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, several times. But I never fully understood what it meant until a few years ago. Then it hit me and I've never been quite the same since. Every aspect of my life has improved dramatically, especially in the area of accumulating my desires, since I finally understood what is meant by a prosperity consciousness. Remember the first step is to identify your own passion and make progress towards what is important to you. Ignite the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

FINDING YOUR PASSION

In my time studying leadership and evaluating effective leaders, I have stumbled across a leadership shortcoming that amazes me. Leaders will manage a team, work with the same individuals every day, yet hardly know anything about their people! These leaders have never prioritized acquainting themselves with the dreams, thoughts, hopes, opinions, and values of those they lead. How powerful it is to know what makes our fellow workers tick. The best leaders are readers of people. They have the intuitive ability to understand others by discerning how they feel and recognizing what they sense. I have found that leaders overestimate the amount of time and effort needed to get to know someone. In fact, in only one hour with you in private conversation, I could, probably by asking three questions, find the passion of your life: What do you dream about? A person’s dreams are powerful revealers of passion. When a person starts to talk about their dreams, it’s as if something bubbles up from within. Their eyes brighten, their face glows, and you can feel the excitement in their words. What do you cry about? Passion can be uncovered by peering into the hurts deep inside a human soul. The experience of pain or loss can be a formidably motivating force. When listening to a story of grief, you hear a voice thick with emotion, you see watery eyes flooded with feeling, and in that moment you glimpse the intense connections between a person’s deepest pain and their greatest passion. What makes you happy? I have fun hearing what makes people tick and seeing the smile that comes when they talk about where they find joy. Enjoyment is an incredible energizer to the human spirit. When a person operates in an area of pleasure, they are apt to be brimming with life and exuding passion. If you can uncover a person’s dreams, hurts, and joys, you’ve discovered the central dimensions of their life. Igniting the fire within www.fraserstirling.co.nz

PATIENCE!!!

The other day I spoke about some opportunities that have become evident in my life. While it is tempting to jump at every opportunity, there is still a place for patience. Patience is a virtue I admire so much. It says a lot about a person’s character. I’m very fortunate to have known inspiring role models who displayed patience, grace and class under pressure. Even when Life seems to throw them curve ball after curve ball, they remain standing tall and proud. Their mindset declares to the world, “I’m not going to let another temporary setback define who I am. I will keep going until I succeed!” In this age of instant everything – instant noodles, instant messaging, instant…you get the picture – it’s hard for people to cultivate patience. We’ve become so used to instant gratification that the idea of waiting has become somewhat alien. Do you know the old saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day?” This means great things take time to achieve. It took the people of the Roman Empire years to establish themselves as a world power. But with patience, perseverance, guts and political maneuverings (this one wasn’t pretty though!), their conquests spanned several nations. Art and philosophy flourished in that period. Their cities were the most beautiful in the world. We can take the Roman Empire analogy and apply it to ourselves. All of us want to succeed, but sometimes we are either too impatient or pessimistic that we end up negating all the hard work we’ve done so far. Speed and pessimism are success killers, and here’s why: Faster may be better, but not always. Completing tasks ahead of schedule is always a plus. You save time and money. But when you’re in too much of a hurry, the quality of your work may suffer. On the personal front, if you’re working towards achieving inner peace, you need to allow yourself time to reach your goal. We have to remember that certain things happen according to their own timetable. Professional success coach Jim M. Allen shares the same pragmatic view in his article “Success Coaching: Instant Success” published in Healthy Wealthy nWise: “(Success) comes to you on its own schedule as the result of consistent, persistent action.” My personal favorite line in his article is “Do what needs doing and let life take its own course.” I couldn’t agree more. Do what you have to do, and do them well. You might get results right away or you might not at all. But rather than panic, you need to sit back and wait. Do other things besides waiting. Ever heard of the expression “a watched pot never boils?” As funny as it sounds, things manifest themselves when we’re not focused on them. Pessimism attracts negative results. When you focus on what you don’t or can’t have, you build barriers that repel success. Your thoughts shape your subconscious. They determine results. Easther Sudharta echoed this in his Healthy Wealthy nWise article “How to Cultivate a Mindset of Abundance”: “For (people), unfortunately, especially with a mind focused on what they can’t have, this will likely always be true.” So how does one cultivate a mindset of abundance? Embrace the possibilities in this world, ignore the limitations and work on what you can do to start improving your life. There is no point on dwelling on the stumbling blocks. Focus on what you actually have and can do. Sometimes we need a boost to help us manage the more challenging aspects in our life. This is where coaching comes in. If you’re having performance issues at work, for instance, a good coach can really do wonders for your development. In his article “Coaching Vs. Managing”, also from Healthy Wealthy nWise, Craig Nathanson says, “Coaching helps to unlock a person’s potential to maximize their own performance and help them to learn vs. teaching them.” It helps him weigh the pros and cons of a situation, his own strengths and weaknesses, and map out solutions. Like the Roman general who led his troops to victory and rewrote history, a coach can help you rewrite your own life by boosting your critical thinking, giving you feedback when necessary and guiding you to attain results while respecting your need to be independent. The ancient Romans did not stop believing in their own abilities. They worked incessantly and did not let setbacks in battles stop them from winning the war. They patiently built their empire, and their persistence paid off. Modern age individuals like us certainly could take a page from history’s movers and thinkers on how to be on top of the world! Igniting the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

WHAT IS MY REWARD?

I have recently been preparing an application for a new opportunity that has opened before me. As I have been updating my details, I was reminded of the keys in creating what I want, rather than chasing someones ideal. It takes a bigger person to make $20,000 in a month than it does to make $20,000 in a year. Not a better person, but a bigger one: a bigger risk taker, a bigger thinker, someone with bigger willingness and creativity. In the same way that creating any kind of measurable success requires more from us—as in a long, happy marriage or a satisfying and meaningful career or a fit and healthy body—earning the bigger dollar amount requires a bigger person. And many of us want to be that bigger version of ourselves, to expand our consciousness to include all the riches life has to offer, including money. Yet many of us are held back.If I didn't submit my interest I would still be in the same place. We have to do different things to get different results. Before we go any further, let me be clear: I don’t believe money solves all of life’s woes. On the contrary, I see money as a magnifier, both in lack and abundance. Any time you move outside your comfort zones with money, it magnifies the circumstances of your life. If you have a great relationship, if you’re spiritually connected and you’re healthy, then an abundance or shortfall of money will make that seem even greater. (The high life with extra cash will be fun and joyful; the tough times will make you appreciate what you have in other areas of your life.) If you’re in the converse, money will magnify that, as well. (Life will seem bleaker and more lonely at the top and more impossible and desperate at the bottom.) A Couple of Bad Ideas The most common problem in this area of wealth is based on two beliefs: I’m not worthy or Money is bad (or will make me bad). People may not articulate those two beliefs so clearly, either to themselves or to others, but of the unconscious limitations that hold people back from the wealth they consciously desire, these two are the most likely psychological roadblocks. Where do these ideas come from? They are usually the result of early conditioning. I’m not worthy can stem from any number of childhood events or issues that wind up leaving us feeling as if we don’t deserve more than anybody else. As an adult, it looks something like this: I’m not good enough to earn that much money, or I’m not any better than anyone else, so why should I expect to earn more money? But who among us would say to a friend, “You know, you’re smart enough. Stop learning because you’re bound to make someone else feel stupid,” or “You’re already very healthy. Don’t you feel bad that you can bench press 220 pounds when there are those who can’t do 40?” or “Your daughter is quite well adjusted. Maybe you should back off on encouraging her self-esteem or she will be more confident than her peers”? The I’m not worthy idea about money is on pretty shaky ground when you put it in the context of other accomplishments, isn’t it? How about the other one, Money is bad? More often than not, this equally insidious idea comes from a misinterpretation of religious principles about wealth. Although according to John 10:10, Jesus Christ announced he had come to earth to give us life more abundant, many of his followers today have somehow decided that lack was Christ’s legacy, that abundance of any kind, and particularly monetary wealth, is sinful. So many of the scriptures have been misquoted or taken out of context to support this idea. For example, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God,” (Matthew 19:24). The point here was not that there’s something wrong with being rich, as it’s often interpreted. Instead, according to Paul Pilzer, economist, biblical scholar, and author of God Wants You to Be Rich, Jesus was explaining what God expects of us if we are to go to heaven, and pointing out that for those of us who acquire material wealth, we are called to do even more. We bump up against some interesting beliefs when we start talking about giving, too. What most of us need to remember is that giving is an integral part of receiving. Wealth is something like a teeter-totter, requiring balance on many levels. One of those levels is giving-receiving. Many of us say, “Oh, I’ll give money away when . . .”. When we make “enough.” Or when we make “extra.” But giving is a habit that’s easiest developed with less money instead of more. Do you think it’s easier to give $1 out of $10, or $100 out of $1,000, or $10,000 out of $1 million? A great example of this is income, which has two balancing elements: psychic rewards and monetary rewards. Monetary rewards are the paycheck; that’s obvious. The psychic rewards come from doing something in alignment with your purpose, from doing something that meaning for you. In any profession or career, the ideal is to balance both types of rewards. If one is insufficient for you—either your pay is great but the job stinks, or you love the job but can barely cover the mortgage—then you will ultimately be unhappy in that role. The mistake most of us make is thinking that if we just hang on long enough, the income will balance itself: in time, the sacrifices we make will be noticed by management and compensated, or the money will come to be fulfilling in and of itself. Sorry, it just doesn’t work that way. Then how can we increase our income, both in terms of psychic and material rewards? It all comes down to mindset. Remember these keys: You are compensated based on three factors: 1) perceived value, 2) the actual value you deliver, and 3) the ease with which you can be replaced. Improve one or all of these areas to increase your income. Remember, money is a magnifier, both in your life in general and in the workplace in particular. What you do well will be magnified with an increase in pay, and what you need to improve will also come into sharper focus. Be the first one to notice and take action. So as I continue to refine my application I am keeping those key ideas of the reward in the fore front of my mind... What about you? What are you doing to ignite the fire within you? Are you taking steps to make the most of this day? Ignite the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

How strong is your desire?

Over the past few weeks I have had a number of opportunities come to me. I have had to ask myself which is moving me closer to my ideal. Whatever dream you decide to go after, whether it is a family goal or a career goal, you must consciously decide that it is your life's mission. Benjamin Disraeli said, "The secret of success is constancy to purpose." You must go at it obsessively and set high standards for yourself along the way. There is no room for compromise when you are charting a course for your life or your career. It is either moving you closer of further away from your goal. Wes Smith, wrote a humor book called Welcome to the Real World, and in it he offered advice to fresh high-school and college graduates. He had a line in the book that pertains to the situation I faced that night. It said, "Having a drink with the boys after work every night is a bad idea. Notice that the boss doesn't do it. That is why he is the boss and they are still the boys." Wes wrote that line with one particular group of hard-partying young businessmen in mind, and five years after the book came out, he ran into one of them. The guy volunteered that he'd read that line in Wes's book and decided never to go drinking after work again. It paid off, he said. He had risen to a vice-presidency at a savings and loan. So too with you. What thinks are you saying yes to that maybe limiting where you can go? Simply, are you chasing the fire within or are you getting slightly side tracked? www.fraserstirling.co.nz

HOW DO I GET MORE DONE?

Following on from the other day, there is another key thing to get lots done each day.....using time wisely/ There is a law that states: "There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing." You Always Find the Time When you run out of time and the consequences for non-completion of a key task or project can be really serious, you always seem to find the time to get it done, often at the very last minute. You start early, you stay late and you drive yourself to complete the job rather than to face the negative consequences that would follow if you didn't get it completed within the time limit. Rule: "There will never be enough time to do everything you have to do." You Are Already Overwhelmed The fact is that the average person today is working at 110% to 130% of capacity. And the jobs and responsibilities just keep piling up. Everyone has stacks of reading material they still have to go through. One study concluded recently that the average executive has 300-400 hours of reading and projects backlogged at home and at the office. What this means is that you will never be caught up. Get that out of your mind. All you can hope for is to be on top of your most important responsibilities. The others will just have to wait. "Could your time management skills get you laid-off this year?" In today's economy, business is harder than it used to be--people in every industry have to work smarter and harder to show that they deserve to be there. If you don't have the skills to perform for your company and prove that you are the best asset for them, you may be left behind. Click for more >> Deadlines Can Be Counterproductive Many people say that they work better under the pressure of deadlines. Unfortunately, years of research indicate that this is seldom true. Under the pressure of deadlines, often self-created through procrastination and delay, people suffer greater stress, make more mistakes, and have to do redo more tasks, than under any other conditions. Often the mistakes that are made when people are working under tight deadlines lead to defects and cost overruns that lead to substantial financial losses in the long-term. Sometimes the job actually takes much longer to complete when people rush to get the job done at the last minute and then have to redo it. The Key Question You Should Ask The key question you can ask is: "What is the most valuable use of my time, right now?" This is the core question of time management. This is the key to overcoming procrastination and becoming a highly productive person. Every hour of every day, there is an answer to this question. Your job is to ask yourself the question, over and over again, and to always be working on the answer to it, whatever it is. Do first things first and second things not at all. As Goethe said, "The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least." The more accurate your answers to this question, the easier it will be for you to set clear priorities, to overcome procrastination and to get started on that one activity that represents the most valuable use of your time. Take a few minutes each day and sit quietly where you cannot be disturbed. During this time, let your mind relax and just think about your work and activities, without stress or pressure. In almost every case, during this time of solitude, you will receive wonderful insights and ideas that will save you enormous amounts of time when you apply them back on the job. Often you will experience breakthroughs that will change the direction of your life and work. Ignite the fire within www.fraserstirling.co.nz

KEYS TO HIGH PERFORMANCE

A question I am often asked is, How do you get so much done? Today I have listed 7 keys that will help you make the most out of each and every moment and or day. Goal Setting Every morning, take 3 to 5 minutes to write out your top goals in the present tense. Get a spiral notebook for this purpose. By writing out your 10 goals at the beginning of each day, you will program them deep into your subconscious mind. This daily goal writing will activate your mental powers. It will stimulate your mind and make you more alert. Throughout the day, you will see opportunities and possibilities to move more rapidly toward your goals. Planning and Organizing Take a few minutes, preferably the night before, to plan out every activity of the coming day. Always work from a list. Always think on paper. This is one of the most powerful and important disciplines of all for high performance. Priority Setting The essence of all time management, personal management, and life management is contained in your ability to set proper priorities and use of your time. This is essential for high performance. Concentration on your Highest-Value Activities Your ability to work single-mindedly on your most important task will contribute as much to your success as any other discipline you can develop. Exercise and Proper Nutrition Your health is more important than anything else. By disciplining yourself to exercise regularly and to eat carefully, you will promote the highest possible levels of health and fitness throughout your life. Learning and Growth Your mind is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you lose it. Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field. Time for Important People in your Life Relationships are everything. Be sure that in climbing the ladder of success, you do not find it leaning against the wrong building. Make time for your relationships every day, no matter how busy you get. These will help ignite the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

ARE YOU FEELING STUCK?

Do you ever feel like there are parts of you saying yes, while other parts are holding you back? There is a cast of characters that live inside of us all and at different times we may be run by one voice over another. (almost like the 2 angels). The key question here is this. If you are committed to being successful, how can you put your dreamer and visionary at the helm, on a day-to-day basis? If you can turn the volume up on the voice of the dreamer, and the volume down on the voice of the doubter, you will create more opportunities for greater success with greater ease. What are the voices saying inside of your head? Who are the people in your life and on your team who might be playing these roles? Imagine that your dream is to take risk, a big risk that could really grow your business. Perhaps you would change jobs, an assistant or move to a bigger space. Here's how these voices might typically respond. Doubter - This voice is often heard saying such things as, "I don't think that's a good idea." "I have my doubts." Even "bad idea." If you were to really crank the volume up on this voice it could turn into a real annihilator saying things like, "Are you out of your mind?" Realist - "Be realistic..." If we turn the doubter down a bit, it becomes the voice of a realist. Realists aren't bad, as a matter of fact, they are important for they require evidence and solid plans. The way to deal with this voice is to give it what it needs. If you ignore it, or worse reject it, it can cleverly sabotage you. Being realistic often offers prudence and makes us do our homework. However, if you are overly realistic you may kill the passion around your dream. Dreamer - Once the realist is fed (with facts and strategies) there is room for the dreamer. The dreamer says, "What if..." (the doubter often says, "But what if...") The dreamer imagines what is possible, is an opportunist, believes in the dream and finds creative outlets. Dreamers talk about their dreams in a powerful way, with clarity and intention. Serious dreamers build Dream Teams as they get others excited about their vision. And most importantly, dreamers take action to make their dreams a reality. Visionary - This voice says, "Anything is possible, let's dream big!" You know these people. These are the folks we look up to and admire. Setbacks or failures do not stop them. They have learned the process of realizing their dreams and now they embody what it means to be a big dreamer. Simply put, a visionary has a vision and they invite others to join them. Often people are so inspired by this visionary that they ask to participate. People enroll themselves when they are in the presence of a true visionary. A visionary is not defined by the size of the dream, for dreams come in all sizes and areas of life. If you were truly living your dream, even your "dream come true life," how would it be? What do you see yourself doing, where are you doing it, and who is doing it with you? How many lives would you touch and how many people would you help? www.fraserstirling.co.nz

Studies of high achievers have shown that no matter how different their personalities, work habits, occupations or gender, the people who accomplish great things in life have visualized and expected success all along. They've had the ability to vividly picture their achievements and to reassure themselves in the face of long odds that they would come through. To visualize the person you want most to become, set aside some time this week in which you can create an atmosphere conducive to re-affirming your life dreams. You may want to be near the ocean, or a lake, or in a park, in a garden or in the woods. Or you might just sit quietly by yourself in a comfortable lounge or chair. Get yourself in the mood for visualizing. When the left hemisphere of the brain is quiet and relaxed, the mind is most receptive to creative inputs. To facilitate this you may want to use soothing recorded music, preferably slow and inspiring, such as Bach, Handel or Vivaldi if you like classical music, or soft, popular instrumentals from epic movies or other mood music. Once you're properly relaxed and optimistic, let your mind focus on who you really want to become. Visualize the future in two time frames: five years from now and ten years from now. First, design a day in your life five years from now. Who are you five years from now? Where are you professionally and geographically? On Monday mornings, where do you go? What are you doing, seeing, feeling and thinking? Who are the people around you? What's different about your life five years from now? Next, project ahead ten years from today. Picture a film of your life at that time. Who is watching it with you? What dramatic moments are depicted by that film? What personal triumphs are revealed? What obstacles are courageously overcome? Don't be shy! The purpose of this exercise is to load visualized software in your mental computer. Just as a computer must be configured to accept specific materials, your mind must be prepared to accept the reality of your greater success. By introducing positive images of goal achievement, you're preparing yourself to translate those goals into reality. I especially like to visualize myself being introduced at a dinner in my honor. Maybe it's the Coaches' Hall of Fame! Don't laugh! It could happen! The emcee comes to the microphone and reads the highlights of my life and adds some insights as to who I really am. What would the emcee be saying about you if such a dinner were held in your honor ten years from now? Devote a page in your journal to describing the things you would want said about you. This visualization will put you on a path that leads to your future self that you vividly picture today! www.fraserstirling.co.nz

HOW TO BE HAPPY

One thing I love doing, is listening to CD's from todays giants. Today I was listening to a classic power talk CD from Tony Robbins. He spoke about Happiness and mans endless pursuit of it. Throughout the day I was pondering the content of his talk. Today I thought I would share some ideas around happiness and how to find it. What follows are some great strategies for finding happiness. Look for ways to apply the ideas you learn into your life. What if we could go through life without worrying about money, jobs, kids, relationships, and just be happy? Happiness is not a destination. It is a positive feeling of appreciation, gratitude, and contentment about our current situation. We achieve this feeling by focusing on and acknowledging all the good things in our lives. Abraham Lincoln said: "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." It's really not so much what happens to us in life, but how we respond to those happenings. Step #1 Make The Choice... Regardless of the situation or circumstances, we get to choose whether we want to feel happy and energized, or miserable and lethargic. Obviously, we will feel better if we respond to life with positive energy and a plan for moving forward. Taking the low road by moaning and groaning about life's injustices can only lead to anger, resentment and frustration. What a lot of wasted energy! That doesn't mean the high road is easy. Often our first impulse when something unexpected happens is to tense up, burst into tears, throw a tantrum, or look for something or someone to blame. This is a typical knee-jerk response that is related to our basic survival instinct. Acknowledge this instinct and then take a deep breath. Stop and reflect. Ask yourself: How do I want to feel? What do I want? (What is the desired outcome?) Step #2 Let Go... What's on your unhappiness laundry list? Go ahead; make that list. Here are some samples: 1. Not enough money. 2. Too busy. 3. Betsy is always in a bad mood. 4. Bruce never does want I want him to. 5. My sister acts so nasty toward me. There's no reason for her to be nasty! What can you do to change each of these unhappiness items? I'll give you some hints. 1. I'm so grateful for the money we do have. I'm also grateful that we live in a world of opportunities where we can always look for ways to augment our income. 2. I enjoy managing my time well, so I never have to feel that I'm too busy to read stories to my children, or create a wonderful bedtime experience for them when they can share all the events of the day with me. 3. I'm going to do something special for Betsy today. I know she's depressed about being overweight. I'm going to compliment her on her computer skills; she's a genius and I think she doesn't really know that. 4. Bruce is only two years old and he's eager to test his wings. I will be loving and firm with him, letting him know who's in charge. I'll make the rules into a game. 5. Repeat Number 3 with a variation. What would make your sister feel special, loved, wanted, and needed? Place those negative feelings into the washing machine and add plenty of detergent. How many people do you know who can still recall some of the terrible things that happened to them years, even decades ago? I know a woman in her mid-sixties who can still remember names that the "mean kids" called her in school years. That's a long time to carry around that memory. I wonder if she remembers any of the compliments her grade school friends paid her. For some reason, our minds tend to store "junk." We hold on to all the bad things that people have said or done to us through the years. Over and over in our heads, we replay tape loop of life's injustices: justifying our hurt, anger, or bitterness. Why? Why hold on to all of that? Make a list of reasons. Can you come up with at least one reason for keeping yourself in a state of feeling bad, resentful, angry or depressed?? What is the pay-off? Release the junk. Make room for more joy! Step #3 Be Grateful... Being thankful for what you have and who you are is critical to the way you feel about yourself and your situation. It's so easy to focus on what's going wrong, but why not be thankful for what's going right? Again, we are deciding to feel this way, based not so much on what is happening around us, but with what is happening within us. Our bodies respond with a powerful, positive sensation when we express our gratitude; it is that sensation that creates happiness. Focusing on good things makes us feel good. Has anyone ever paid you a compliment that you didn't accept? For example, has someone told you your new dress is very becoming and you responded by saying, "Oh, this old thing?" Maybe at work someone complimented you on a job well done and you responded, "It was nothing." Why is it often difficult to accept a compliment? Why can't we be grateful and just say "thank you"? When we decline a compliment, we think we are being humble, but the message it delivers to our subconscious is altogether different. Rejection of a compliment sends a message to the brain that we are not pretty, or smart, or hard working! This response also makes the person who paid us the compliment feel bad because we didn't accept it. When we are grateful and accept the kind words someone has given us, it makes us feel good inside. That compliment is stored in our "hard drive," and continues to deliver positive energy. Have an attitude of gratitude. Make a choice to be grateful and happy. Be grateful for the job you have, even if you are not happy in that job. Be grateful for your co-workers, even though they may drive you crazy. Be grateful for your boss who is hard on you, but also challenges you, and makes you stretch further than you thought you could. I guarantee if you will start being grateful for the things in your life that make you happy, or even unhappy, you will experience a wonderful upsurge of new energy. Suddenly, change is in the air! You might arrive at work one day and notice that you really do enjoy your job and appreciate the uniqueness of your co-workers. You might even think everyone else has changed, but it's really you who flipped the switch to the Happiness Channel. Why not give that flip-switch a try? The alternative is staying exactly where you are; and if that doesn't feel good, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Make the step today and ignite the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

SIGNS OF GREATNESS

You have to love the Rugby World Cup and all the highs and lows that go with top level sport. One team is enjoying success and the other is in the pit of disappointment. Thats the difference between the average and the top of their game. The average person quits at the first failure they encounter. That’s why there have been many average men throughout the years and only one Edison or someone who stands up and makes a difference. I believe that one of the best ways to get what we want, is to look at people who have been successful and follow in their footsteps. So it is with Edison. He demonstrated what is needed to be the best we can be... Thomas Edison observed that the reason most folks don’t recognize opportunity when it comes knocking is that it is often dressed in overalls and looks like work. Edison knew that anything worthwhile never comes easily; if it were easy, anyone could do it. Because he persisted far beyond the point the average person would consider reasonable and rational, he produced inventions that even the most learned people of the day considered impossible. Great advances in knowledge are often achieved by people with an almost fanatical devotion to finding the solution to a problem. Flashes of inspiration alone are not enough to ensure success; they must be followed by determined, persistent action. So as we enter the final stages of the Rugby World Cup, take note of those who have persisted and overcome, they have a commitment to be the best they can be. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

Bait the conversation.

A boy came to me today and said that his Dad was taking the day off work to go fishing for his birthday. It amazes me that people tend to spend more time planning things, rather than planning their lives. I have just listened to an excellent audio on relationships by Anthony Robbins. Zig Ziglar also comments that people need to have good relationships at home, or home court advantage as he calls it. A good fisherman goes out of his way to bait his hook with what the fish prefer — which might not be a bad tip for those who wish to succeed in human relationships. Just as in a conversation it’s a good idea to listen more than you talk, it is also wise in relationships to think about the well-being of others more than you think about your own wishes and desires. When you constantly strive to treat others in the same way you would like them to treat you, you become a person whom others like to be around, one who commands their respect, confidence, and loyalty. When you learn to manage emotions and your ego, and when you learn to always consider the needs and desires of others, it is inevitable that you will “bait your hook” with kindness and consideration, and catch more friends than you can count. Good relationships helps ignite the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

IS LIVE WORTH LIVING?

Over the past while as I’ve sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life’s roller coaster . Recently I have been really digging deep and I believe four simple words that can make living worthwhile. First, life is worthwhile if you LEARN. What you don't know WILL hurt you. You have to have learning to exist, let alone succeed. Life is worthwhile if you learn from your own experiences—negative or positive. We learn to do it right by first sometimes doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people's experiences, both positive and negative. I've always said that it is too bad failures don't give seminars. Obviously, we don't want to pay them so they aren’t usually touring around giving seminars. But that information would be very valuable—we would learn how someone who had it all then messed it up. Learning from other people's experiences and mistakes is valuable information because we can learn what not to do without the pain of having tried and failed ourselves. We learn by what we see, so pay attention. We learn by what we hear, so be a good listener. Now I do suggest that you should be a selective listener; don't just let anybody dump into your mental factory. We learn from what we read, so learn from every source; learn from lectures; learn from songs; learn from sermons; learn from conversations with people who care. Always keep learning. Second, life is worthwhile if you TRY. You can't just learn; now you have to try something to see if you can do it. Try to make a difference, try to make some progress, try to learn a new skill, try to learn a new sport. It doesn't mean you can do everything, but there are a lot of things you can do, if you just try. Try your best. Give it every effort. Why not go all out? Third, life is worthwhile if you STAY. You have to stay from spring until harvest. If you have signed up for the day or for the game or for the project, see it through. Sometimes calamity comes and then it is worth wrapping it up. And that's the end, but just don't end in the middle. Maybe on the next project you pass, but on this one, if you signed up, see it through. And lastly, life is worthwhile if you CARE. If you care at all you will get some results, if you care enough you can get incredible results. Care enough to make a difference. Care enough to turn somebody around. Care enough to start a new enterprise. Care enough to change it all. Care enough to be the highest producer. Care enough to set some records. Care enough to win. Four powerful little words: learn, try, stay and care. What difference can you make in your life today by putting these words to work? www.fraserstirling.co.nz Fraser