Being Real

Recently I was challenged by some people close to me that they saw me in a different way than I did. I initially took this as a bad thing. I went way reflecting on the comments. I was asking myself things like, am I trying to be someone else other than myself. Am I trying to be someone that I am not really. Who am I? I SPENT a whole week asking myself these questions. The answer that I cam back with is that yes I am being me. I am not trying to be someone and or something that I am not.
Then that rose the question, why am i different things to different people. I am not the same in all situations. Was I being honest to myself and or the people I associate with? The answer is....sometimes.
The reflecting led to am I being genuinely authentic all the time. I know it is easy to be authentic on the big things...but what about the small day to day things. When I am walking on the beach and want to sing aloud? Am I holding it in and thinking, arrgghh people will think I am silly or am I bold enough to say nope that is what I want and sing on the beach no matter what?
For me as I continue to reflect on this question I believe I may have spent too long holding my thoughts in and not sharing them with the universe and those around me. It is time to stand up and be counted.
This is my day. This is my gift. This is my chance to shine. I am seizing the day. I encourage you to be real and make the day the way you would like it to be.

Till next time...be real

Fraser

It is up to me....

Over the past few days I have been thinking about my choices. I know what to do. Yet sometimes I don't. I know I should exercise. Recently I haven't. I should do this and or that. It is so easy to blame others. I was thinking these thoughts and then I cam across this article.

Anthony Robbins: It Is Your Choice

Take control of your decisions and your life with these strategies.

What is the single force that shapes the quality of our lives? What power do we have that can change everything? As you and I both know, the answer is the power of choice.

During the past 30 years I’ve had the privilege of working with an incredibly diverse group of people, from presidents of countries to professional athletes, from managers to moms, from gang members to high-powered business executives. I’ve had the unique opportunity to see people in the midst of real challenges, whether it’s the professional athlete who wants to regain his competitive edge, the business leader who wants to expand her influence or the political leader who struggles with a difficult decision. I may not have all the answers (who does?), but after working with so many people and observing the patterns that make them succeed or fail, one thing I am sure of is this: It is our decisions, not our conditions, that determine the quality of our lives.

Take a look at your own life. Are you where you want to be? Are you as healthy or financially secure or as happy in your relationships as you would like to be? Or, even if things are going well, are you looking for that extra edge to retain the competitive advantage? Perhaps you feel that in spite of your success, there’s more out there for you, but for some reason, you haven’t grasped it yet. Your first instinct may be to blame the economy, or the housing market, or someone who has treated you unfairly.

Before we go any further, we need to understand that we are where we are today because of the decisions we’ve made—decisions about what to focus on, decisions about where to place our priorities, decisions about what things mean and decisions about what to do. For example, if your business or career has been affected by the recession, do you feel that you are being punished or challenged to find a new path? What are you going to do about it? Are you going to give up or give more? No matter what we have experienced in the past, our history is not our destiny—we all have the power to make new decisions today.

Here’s another way to look at it: Success is a result of good judgment; good judgment is a result of experience, in most cases. And what about experience? Yes, experience is most often a result of bad judgment.

So here’s the good news: The experience gained from bad judgment and bad decisions is unbelievably valuable—it’s priceless! So don’t waste time beating yourself up over poor decisions you’ve made; learn from the experiences. Really, failure is actually one of the best ways we learn. When people succeed, they celebrate. When they fail, they ponder. They stop and think, What happened here? What could I have done differently? It’s only through self-evaluation that we learn how to make better decisions. So, when you make mistakes, learn from them; use your experience to improve your judgment and make better decisions.

The Path to Freedom—Financial or Otherwise

We’re living in extraordinarily difficult times. Every day we read about and experience more challenges, often related to things we can’t control, whether it’s the economy, the environment or unemployment. We can allow the stress and uncertainty caused by these events to overwhelm us or we can transform our lives by making different decisions.

One of the decisions we can make is to live with a mindset of abundance. What I mean by this is if we live as though wealth has more to do with what’s in our minds than what’s in our wallets, if we understand that how we feel is more important than what we have, we can discover an immense sense of freedom and happiness.

Think about it: Do you know anyone who has a lot of money but doesn’t feel free, doesn’t feel loved, doesn’t feel like he has a choice? Sure you do. You may even feel that way yourself. That feeling happens when you’re not in control of your emotions because you’re looking for someone or something external to fill internal needs.

I don’t care what you’ve achieved or how much money you’ve earned, if you live with an attitude of scarcity and limitation, if you wait for someone or something else to fulfill you, you’re not going to be happy. You must make the decision to live with a mentality of abundance, and you will experience true freedom.

It’s Your Time

Everything that happens in your life—what you’re thrilled with and what you’re challenged by—began with a decision. Your life is the outcome of the decisions you’ve made and the actions you’ve taken as a result of those decisions. Different decisions produce different results.

If you want to control the direction of your life, you must consistently make good decisions. It’s not what you do once in a while that has an impact on the direction of your life—it’s what you do consistently. Make decisions today about how you are going to live in the years to come. For your decisions to really make a difference in your life it’s imperative to decide what results you’re committed to—and know specifically how these results will transform your life. It’s equally critical to decide what kind of person you’re committed to becoming. Get clear about what you want to be, do and have, and what your life will be like after you accomplish this. With that clarity, you’ll find it becomes easier to make the kinds of decisions that will move you in the direction you desire.

What are your standards? What will you demand from life? Decide today if you’ll accept life as it is or if you’ll live your life on your own terms, at the edge and at the highest level

Lost your way recently

Over the past few weeks I have been reading a book about Paul Meyer. Part way through the book I was hit with a quote that woke me up big time.

You are not where you want to be because your goals are not clear enough.
I was angry at myself when I read that...yes I am clear...yes I am goal setting...yes I am doing all the right things.

I looked back at some of the goals that I had set. yes I was not as clear as I shod have been. I have since then monitored what I am saying and making as a goal. What a difference it is making.
Be crystal clear....no movement.

Make it count.

Then today I came across this by Brian Tracy

Decide to Become Rich
By Brian Tracy

We have passed from a world based on material limitations into a world that is determined by mental concepts. We have moved from the age of things into the "Psychozoic Age," the age of the mind.

Wealth and opportunities are contained more in the person you are and the way you think than in the assets you have acquired in life so far.

Your future lies more in your ability to apply your mind and intelligence to your work and your life than it does in your current job situation.

Change Creates Opportunity
The forces of change impact everything you do. The rate of change is accelerating week by week and month by month. The speed and variety of change is something over which you have no control, and about which you have no choice.

The only decision you have to make is whether you are going to be a "master of change" or a "victim of change." Are you going to be a creator of circumstance or a creature of circumstances? It will be one of the other, but the impact of change will be forced upon you, whatever you do.

Learn from the Experts
If you want to learn how to cook, you study cooking. If you want to be a lawyer, you study law. If you want to be an engineer, you study engineering. And if you want to be financially successful, you study others who have become financially successful before you. Find out what they did, and you do the same things, over and over, until you get the same results.

Get Rid of the Myths
There are a great many myths about self-made millionaires. If you want to become a self-made millionaire yourself, you must dispel these myths from your own mind. Many people have fixed ideas or beliefs about themselves and money that are holding them back.

One myth is that you have to go have a great education to become rich. Another myth is that you have to start off with a lot of money. Some people are convinced that financial success depends on a lucky break of some kind.

None of these myths are true. In fact, a survey of members of the Forbes 400, the 400 richest men and women in the United States, found that high school dropouts in the group who made it to the list were worth, on average, $300 million more than university graduates on the list.

Becoming a Millionaire
There is a probability that you will become a millionaire in the course of your working lifetime. Today in America, one family in 20 has a net worth of more than one million dollars. This means that your likelihood of acquiring a million dollars is one in 20, or five percent.

The more different things you do that are likely to help you to achieve your goal, the more likely it is you will do the right thing at the right time. If you set clear, written goals, make detailed plans, and continually upgrade your skills to increase your income, you increase the probabilities that you will earn a good living.

Action Exercise
Resolve today to become financially independent. Become a student of money, wealth, accumulation, and wealth creation. Becoming rich is a skill that you can learn.


If you are feeling stuck? Get going today and make a call to someone who can help...eg life coach or revisit your goals and get them really focused.

Where did that time go?

Over the past few weeks I have been very busy getting have to's done. This lead me to start thinking about what am I doing with my time and why.

If you’re like most people you probably go about your day-to-day business never really thinking about the moment-to-moment activities that consume your day. I’d like to walk you through an exercise that will help you earn the highest possible revenue per hour.

Let’s assume that we each start with 365 days in a year. If we take away the following:

• Weekends 104 days
• Two weeks of vacation
• Personal religious holidays – (Three is the average)

That leaves each one of us with approximately 238 days in order to earn the income we desire. If you multiply these 238 days times an average of 10 working hours per day, you are dealing with 2,380 hours of real work time for the year. So let’s do some math. If your yearly income goals are as follows:

• $25k = you must be earning an average of $10.50 every hour of work.
• $50K = $21 per hour
• $100k = $42 per hour
• $250k = $105 per hour
• $1 M = $420 per hour
• $5 M = $2100 per hour
• $10 M = $4200 per hour

In order to earn the income per year that you really want, you absolutely must be doing activities every hour that line up with this chart. If you are doing anything that isn’t your absolute highest producing income activity all the time, you are making it much harder to achieve your desired financial goals. Answer these four questions:

1. What activity or activities generate your highest producing income?
2. What are you spending your time doing?
3. Are you focused on the real money makers or the real time wasters?
4. Are you making it easy for yourself to be a high-income earner or are you doing the things that can be done by someone whose income goal or ability is less than yours? (Delegate or outsource projects and tasks that aren’t the highest income producing use of your time.)

When you start to look at each hour this way, you’ll stop doing the small stuff and you’ll start doing the real high producing stuff that yields results. You will build your business success and your were.

Inner Circle

Recently I have been reminded of the power of those closet to us....Mel Robbins explains it very clearly

The Friend Virus

Are you being infected by your friends' behavior?

Mel Robbins

I grew up in Western Michigan, in a little town called North Muskegon. I went east for college and law school and ended up settling there when I fell in love. I had always dreamed of having my wedding at home in Michigan, and in 1996, my husband and I got married at my parents’ place on Bear Lake.

The rehearsal dinner was at an old tavern next to the water. At one point in the evening, my mom walked over and put her arms around me and said, “I’ve lost you to the East Coast, Mel.” I smiled at her and said, “No you haven’t, I just live there; I’m a Midwesterner at heart, and I’ll always be yours, Mom.” She pressed on, “No, you are one of them now. Just look at how you have your sweater wrapped around your shoulders.”

I was wearing a red sundress, and my cardigan sweater was, in fact, tied around my neck and resting on my shoulders. “That’s how people in the East wear their sweaters,” Mom said. “You’ve become one of them.”

I looked around, and sure enough, the entire room could be divided into Midwesterners and Northeasterners simply by how their sweaters were tied. All of my high-school friends, neighbors and family members had tied their sweaters around their waists.

Little did my mother know, she was pointing out a highly researched fact: Your friends’ behavior is contagious. Everything including obesity, divorce, smoking and apparently sweater-wearing spreads like a virus. An ongoing, multi-decade research project proves the extent that our friends’ behavior affects our own. The Framingham Heart Study began in 1948 with people in Framingham, Mass. To date, the data collected on some 12,000 participants has yielded some startling results. Check this out:

• If someone you name as a friend gets divorced, you are 147 percent more likely to get divorced than if you didn’t have a friend who got divorced.
• If a friend becomes obese, the likelihood that you will follow suit increases by 171 percent.

Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a physician and professor of medical sociology at Harvard Medical School and a principal investigator of the data, explains why the “infection” rate for obesity and other behaviors is so high. “You change your idea of what is an acceptable body type by looking at the people around you,” he says.

If you look at your network and see a group of people who are getting heavy, divorced or laid off, you are going to have to work harder to fight off the infection rate in your own life. I’m not saying you should abandon your friends in their time of need, but you should at least look for new sources of positive inspiration and influence.

This phenomenon can also work to your advantage. If you want to make any change in your life, surround yourself with people who have what you want—whether that’s prosperity, health or loving relationships—and don’t be afraid to identify yourself as being one of them.

I went back to Michigan this summer. As the plane pulled up to the gate, my kids were like caged animals. I reminded them to wait while I gathered our carry-ons. As soon as I stood up, I took off my sweater and tied it snugly around my waist.

The Friend Virus | SUCCESS Magazine | What Achievers Read

Are you feeling stuck?

Does life overwhelm you? Do you spend so much time taking care of everybody else, that you forget to take care of yourself? Do you have trouble making confident decisions? Are you marching to your own drum or someone elses'. Identifying and prioritizing your personal values may be the key to living the life you desire.

If you want to create a happier work environment, or more joyful life in general, then it's important to understand the 'value of values' and how they can be your compass to keep you moving in a direction that makes you clearer on what's important to you, happier, and better at decision making when it comes, not only to your job, but all aspects of your life.

It's challenging to make decisions when you don't know what's significant to you. Too often we act in response to what others like or expect from us. That's where values come in, because they're all about you and no one else. Clear values allow you to make consistent decisions and take committed action.

Without them you can drift off course and be marching to the beat of someone elses' drum such as your boss, spouse, parents or children.

Values are the foundation of creating a fulfilling life I'm going to take you through a 4 step process to identify, prioritize and apply your values.

** Definition of Values **

Firstly we need to define what values are.

Values are what are important, valuable or desirable to you and they guide your behaviors and decisions and are the motivation behind your actions.

Living in alignment with your values creates joy, fulfillment and sense of personal satisfaction. If your life is not values aligned you may experience stress, unhappiness and hopelessness.

Each person has a value system which may be influenced by their background or life philosophy. Many of us develop values during our childhood. And, you may not hold the same values throughout your lifetime, I know I didn't.

I know that 'security' was a work value I adopted from my parents. They believed you had to work hard and have a full-time job in order to be successful.

They also told me I should stick with a job even though I hated it, so their value of 'persistence' often meant I stayed in unhealthy work situations longer than I should have instead of taking steps towards making positive changes that would have made me happier at work.

Now I'm not saying if you feel sad for a second, jump ship. Of course challenges and roadblocks come up and you can maneuver your way through them. The point is, if things are consistently crap you need to do something other than complain. And there may be time when you question if a long held value still works for you.

As I got older a value arose within me that made me question 'security' and 'persistence' - and that was my desire for 'freedom'.

It took me years, but I finally realized that I was acting on what was important to my parents, not what was important to me.

I changed my beliefs to support my values and now choose part-time and self-employment based on residual income. That means I'm rarely trading time for money and I have the flexibility to work when and where I want.

Simply, I chose freedom. I have about 10 values that drive this stage of my life. They include: Joy, Freedom, Success, Making a difference, Abundance, Love, Gratitude, Positive Attitude, Awareness and Balance.

As you can see, there's not a 'security' or 'persistence' in sight.

That's the beauty of making new choices, you can change your situation at any given moment. And don't forget to question, "Whose values are these anyway?"

I hope you're now clear on what values are. The main thing is, you've got to understand what's important to you. It's time to identify your values so you can make clear, confident and consistent decisions.

OK, let's take action.

** Step 1 - Determining your Values **

There are hundreds of values to choose from including: Acceptance, Adventure, Ambition, Benevolence, Comfort, Dignity, Education, Family, Growth, Honesty, Kindness, Love, Open-mindedness, Peace, Power, Reliability, Sincerity, Trust, Vision, Wealth.

Anyway, you get the idea. Go through the list and select which ones are important to you an add your own.

** Step 2 - Prioritize ** Now we're going to prioritize your values in order of importance. Priority is just as important as selecting the values, here's why: Let's say you and I have the same three values:

- Family - Abundance - Success

When I prioritized my values I had:

- Success - Abundance - Family

And you had:

- Family - Abundance - Success

If we had a mutual manager who asked us both to work over the weekend which one of us would be more likely to do it?

I would. Because although success is one of your values it's not as important as family so you'd prioritize spending time with your loved ones over work. So prioritization is an important and often forgotten part, when determining your values.

** Step 3 - Assess your Values Against Your Life

We'll continue with the work theme. This process usually uncovers the reasons why you're not happy in your current circumstances. Let's go back to our example where we identified and prioritized Family, Abundance and Success as our chosen values.

Imagine you work in the mail room of a large advertising agency. You took the role because you believed you could get your foot in the door, start at the bottom and work your way up.

But you're beginning to become discouraged by the fact that it has been two years, and despite the company's promises there is no promotion in site.

Plus, your wife just had a baby and you're committed to your young family. Whereas the firm is committed to corporate drinks after work and you feel like you'll never get the promotion if you don't take advantage of the after hours networking.

If your values are: family, abundance and success how do you think you'd feel in this job?

Firstly, you're not seeing your family that much because of your perceived need to network. You feel like you're missing out on valuable time with your baby because she's asleep when you get home and you only seem to get weekend time.

You're still in your entry level position, so you're not making that much money, so your value of abundance is out the window.

There are also no promotions on the horizon so your success value isn't being fulfilled either. It's my guess you're beginning to feel a little hopeless and dissatisfied with your role.

But here's the great part - everything can change my making different choices. But before we discuss that I want to emphasize how important it is to align your values with the organization you're working for as it will make you happier and minimize inner conflict.

For example if you value 'integrity' and the company you work for is misrepresenting its success to their shareholders you may struggle with guilt and resentment.

If you are values aligned with your organization you will discover a natural enthusiasm, a sense of personal satisfaction and a feeling of purpose - the exact attributes which contribute to success and happiness.

If you and your organization's values couldn't be further apart, don't worry, as I said earlier you can always make a different choice and that's what we do in Step 4.

** Step 4 - Embracing Change **

This step focuses on what you can change in regards to your attitude, behavior and / or environment in the short, medium and long term to get out of the rut. Let's take our mail room worker and look at short-term solutions to shift his situation.

Firstly, his *attitude* - he will consider work to be work, and done within work hours, his family is the priority from 6pm onwards.

He is going to *behave* proactively - he has set a meeting with his manager to ask what he needs to do in order to get a promotion. And if he does that, when he can expect the next opportunity to arise. After that discussion he will at least be clearer on his position.

And now we look at his *environment* - he can look for opportunities outside the mail room and offer to do projects for other departments to show enthusiasm and increase his profile.

Now, if none of the above works he can go into a medium - long term strategy of finding a new role.

Taking action is empowering whereas remaining idle just reinforces how stuck you feel in your unpalatable situation.

Committing to making changes allows you to feel that you are in the driver's seat of life, not a passive passenger.

Remember, "Nothing changes if nothing changes, and if I keep doing what I've always done, I'll keep getting what I've always got, and will keep feeling what I always felt."

Beliefs

You may have heard a rumor on Twitter, by email, or wherever it is that rumors start that October 2010 has 5 Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, and that this happens only once every 823 years. This got me thinking, is it really true? So I did some research and found out that the exact same breakdown was used in 1982, 1993, 1999 and again in 2021. I started to think a little more about whose beliefs do I adhere to? Do I ebb and flow with the latest trends and opinions? It’s all too easy to think because it is in the paper, news or on the internet that it is true. Literally, hundreds of peoples’ response to the above fact was that they just accepted it in their stride and thought, “WOW! What an opportunity”. It seems most people are happy to accept “information from authority”. It’s hard to imagine the five weekends concept as being a threat to any particular religion, politics, or ideology, and that’s apparently as deep as most peoples’ filters operate. However, it is a precarious position that people put themselves in if they allow others to program their thoughts and beliefs. My challenge to you in the coming month is to take notice of what you read, hear and see and challenge the validity of it. If nothing else, it will help you become stronger in your beliefs as you stand for what you absolutely value and believe in