I have come across the parable of the talents 3-4 times in the past few days. A firm believer in the law of the universe, I have refreshed my mind of what it stands for and am sharing a great article by Brian Tracy.
The Parable of Talents
By: Brian TracyThe Parable of the Talents is the primary reason for wealth or poverty throughout history.Reasons for Rich or PoorWhy do some people retire rich and most people retire poor? This subject has fascinated philosophers, thinkers, mystics and teachers throughout the ages. There have been so many cases of hundreds or thousands and even millions of men and women who have started with nothing and become financially independent that people are naturally curious to know why it happened and what are the common rules or principles that others can apply to become wealthy as well.Why People Become RichOne illustration of this key principle is called the parable of the talents. In the Bible, it says, "To him that hath, shall more be given, and he shall have abundance. But from him that hath not, even that which he hath shall be taken away."Accumulation Leads to More AccumulationWhat does it mean? In the modern world, we say "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer." The fact is that people who accumulate money tend to accumulate more and more. People who don't accumulate money seem to lose even that little bit of money which they have. Why should this happen? The great success principle, the single idea that explains human destiny is simple. It says that, "you become what you think about, most of the time."
Control Your ThoughtsAnd whatever you dwell upon, grows in your reality. You create your entire world by the things you choose to think about and how you choose to think about them.
It just so happens that wealthy, successful people fill their minds with thoughts, words, pictures and images of wealth, affluence, success, productivity and solutions to problems in the marketplace, most of the time. These thoughts trigger the reticular activating cortex, the part of the brain that makes you more alert and sensitive to things that you have decided are important to you.
Activate Your Reticular CortexFor example, if you decide to invest in a mutual fund, you will start to see news and information about mutual funds everywhere. Mentions in newspapers and magazines will jump out at you. These notices have always been there but now you have sensitized your brain to pick them up and draw them to your attention with far greater frequency and vividness. This is the function and power of your reticular cortex.
Avoid Poverty ThinkingOn the other hand, what do poor people think about most of the time? Unfortunately, poor people fill their minds with thoughts of scarcity, lack, poverty, being unable to afford things. They are always thinking and talking about how little money they have, how much things cost and how they wish things could be better financially. What they think about most of the time is how little money they have.
Think Like Wealthy People ThinkWealthy people from an early age think about how much they have, how much they want and all the different things they can do to acquire and earn the money and things they desire.
Find Out How Rich People ThinkHere's a rule for you. If you want to become successful, find out what failures do and don't do it. If you want to be wealthy, find out what poor people think about, and avoid thinking in those ways. Instead, find out how wealthy people think. Find out what they read. Find out how they spend their time. Study their lives, read their stories and autobiographies and listen to their words when they are interviewed and on tape. The more you find out what financially successful people think and talk about most of the time, and do the same things, the more rapidly you will enjoy the same rewards that they do.
What am I going to take from the parable?
To make sure I put my assets are put to use to make sure I get a return.
www.fraserstirling.co.nz
Igniting lives on Fire
Showing posts with label ignite the fire within tauranga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ignite the fire within tauranga. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
COMMUNICATION
My recent posts have been about relationships, therefore I thought I would discuss communication today:
Communication is one of the most important aspects of our lives that, ironically, many of us pay the least attention to. Regretfully, the main reason is that many of us have never been taught how to communicate in a way that benefits us and the person we are communicating with. From the moment we wake up in the morning until we go to bed, we are communicating, first with family, then with coworkers, neighbors, friends, and so on. We communicate either verbally, through our spoken words, or nonverbally, through eye contact, body language, and touch as well as through our thoughts, feelings, and passions. It has been estimated that only about 20 percent of our communication is verbal, and the rest is nonverbal. It is important, then, to pay attention to all the nonverbal clues we express to people as they speak more than the words we say. For example, most people can remember when they were children and "the look" their parents gave them that expressed much more than words would. Imagine if our communication with our spouses was clearer so that we knew how to express our feelings and ask for what we wanted--and we were heard. What if we, as parents, communicated from a place of personal power inside ourselves, expecting our children to listen and cooperate without having to yell? Through verbal and nonverbal communication we let people know who we are, what we want, and how we feel. Therefore communication is one of the necessary building blocks for creating a solid and successful family environment.
Here are four steps that will enhance communication with your family.
1. Expressing Our Wants and Feelings We all have wants and feelings. Once upon a time, in our youth, it was all right for us to want, and more so, it was even necessary for us to want. But many of us had parents who told us no, we could not join the big kids in the street, we could not ask for money or play with a certain thing, and that we asked too many questions. So "no, you don't want that" became the mantra of our lives. How many times did we hear statements such as these: "don't argue with me"; "if you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about"; and so many others that taught us to stuff our feelings and shut up. No wonder we have a hard time expressing ourselves. This transfers into our adulthood to our spouses and children. When we do not get what we want, we tend to blame and attack others, causing upset and a belief that relationships are hard. In order to improve our ability to communicate and therefore improve our relationship with our family, we need to understand and release any emotions like anger and resentment and the belief that we are going to upset someone by stating our wants. It is when we release these that we can express our current wants and feelings, and we can then hear the wants and feelings of our spouses and children.
2. Making Others Right Any time we make negative comments to people about something they are doing or about a feeling or thought they have, we are making them wrong for who they are. This is called projection: the tendency to unconsciously place onto others our own undesirable ideas and impulses. How can you tell if you are projecting? The easiest way to know is if you are judging. How many times do you judge your spouse or your children for actions they take or feelings they have? No one wants to be ignored, accused, or made wrong. Think of someone right now that you have done this to. What was his or her reaction? When we project, we think they are undeserving of our love or caring. Truly, the place to start letting go of judgments is within ourselves. The more we release our own judgments about ourselves, the less we project them onto our family members. We can then make them right and see them as important, having value, and being okay for who they are because we have seen that about ourselves.
3. Listening What does listening have to do with communication? Why is listening so important? Listening allows us to get information, to learn about someone, and to understand another's feelings. Research has shown that people are listening only 25 percent of the time and that they make up the rest of what they think they hear. Therefore the nonlistener does not learn what there is to know, and the relationship becomes a classic lose-lose situation. There are many reasons why we do not hear what other people are saying. Some of them include talking too much, being too consumed with our own opinions, thinking we know a lot more about something than the person talking and planning our remarks and actions before the other person finishes. A good listener gives his or her undivided attention, asks questions without interrupting, does not judge until comprehension is complete, sees things from all points of view, and, especially, exercises the mind.
4. Having Agreements Instead of Expectations Since we have not learned positive ways to communicate due to holding back our feelings and not asking for what we want, we end up having expectations of others. We feel as if they can read our minds and know what we want without having to express it. Expectation is defined as "a prospect of future benefit." Because of this desire for a future benefit, we habitually deprive or withhold something desirable from ourselves for some outward goal or the love of someone in our lives. This is referred to as Sacrifice. For example, you think, "I will do this certain thing for my spouse, and when I do, she or he will love me more for it." Another example is thinking "I will pick up my child's toys, and he or she will learn from that and then pick up his or her own toys." We also have expectations of ourselves based on what we think others want of us, and they become shoulds; examples are "I should be a better parent" or "I should be happy around my spouse all the time." Because of fears we carry within ourselves about relationships and asking for what we want, we hold these expectations as a desire or a hope, wanting them to come true. We then sacrifice ourselves with these expectations, depriving ourselves of our wants. We become angry and disappointed when they do not come true and then feel guilty for having expressed the anger. In reality, we are angry with ourselves for not speaking up and asking for we want and need. To resolve this, we need to observe when we run our lives by shoulds or expectations and instead then communicate to others our desires and make agreements with each family member. Successful family relationships depend on how well we communicate. By using these tools, you will learn how to listen and communicate with each other. You will empower yourself and your family members. And you will create more joy, love, and peace in the family household.
Igniting lives on fire
www.fraserstirling.co.nz
Communication is one of the most important aspects of our lives that, ironically, many of us pay the least attention to. Regretfully, the main reason is that many of us have never been taught how to communicate in a way that benefits us and the person we are communicating with. From the moment we wake up in the morning until we go to bed, we are communicating, first with family, then with coworkers, neighbors, friends, and so on. We communicate either verbally, through our spoken words, or nonverbally, through eye contact, body language, and touch as well as through our thoughts, feelings, and passions. It has been estimated that only about 20 percent of our communication is verbal, and the rest is nonverbal. It is important, then, to pay attention to all the nonverbal clues we express to people as they speak more than the words we say. For example, most people can remember when they were children and "the look" their parents gave them that expressed much more than words would. Imagine if our communication with our spouses was clearer so that we knew how to express our feelings and ask for what we wanted--and we were heard. What if we, as parents, communicated from a place of personal power inside ourselves, expecting our children to listen and cooperate without having to yell? Through verbal and nonverbal communication we let people know who we are, what we want, and how we feel. Therefore communication is one of the necessary building blocks for creating a solid and successful family environment.
Here are four steps that will enhance communication with your family.
1. Expressing Our Wants and Feelings We all have wants and feelings. Once upon a time, in our youth, it was all right for us to want, and more so, it was even necessary for us to want. But many of us had parents who told us no, we could not join the big kids in the street, we could not ask for money or play with a certain thing, and that we asked too many questions. So "no, you don't want that" became the mantra of our lives. How many times did we hear statements such as these: "don't argue with me"; "if you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about"; and so many others that taught us to stuff our feelings and shut up. No wonder we have a hard time expressing ourselves. This transfers into our adulthood to our spouses and children. When we do not get what we want, we tend to blame and attack others, causing upset and a belief that relationships are hard. In order to improve our ability to communicate and therefore improve our relationship with our family, we need to understand and release any emotions like anger and resentment and the belief that we are going to upset someone by stating our wants. It is when we release these that we can express our current wants and feelings, and we can then hear the wants and feelings of our spouses and children.
2. Making Others Right Any time we make negative comments to people about something they are doing or about a feeling or thought they have, we are making them wrong for who they are. This is called projection: the tendency to unconsciously place onto others our own undesirable ideas and impulses. How can you tell if you are projecting? The easiest way to know is if you are judging. How many times do you judge your spouse or your children for actions they take or feelings they have? No one wants to be ignored, accused, or made wrong. Think of someone right now that you have done this to. What was his or her reaction? When we project, we think they are undeserving of our love or caring. Truly, the place to start letting go of judgments is within ourselves. The more we release our own judgments about ourselves, the less we project them onto our family members. We can then make them right and see them as important, having value, and being okay for who they are because we have seen that about ourselves.
3. Listening What does listening have to do with communication? Why is listening so important? Listening allows us to get information, to learn about someone, and to understand another's feelings. Research has shown that people are listening only 25 percent of the time and that they make up the rest of what they think they hear. Therefore the nonlistener does not learn what there is to know, and the relationship becomes a classic lose-lose situation. There are many reasons why we do not hear what other people are saying. Some of them include talking too much, being too consumed with our own opinions, thinking we know a lot more about something than the person talking and planning our remarks and actions before the other person finishes. A good listener gives his or her undivided attention, asks questions without interrupting, does not judge until comprehension is complete, sees things from all points of view, and, especially, exercises the mind.
4. Having Agreements Instead of Expectations Since we have not learned positive ways to communicate due to holding back our feelings and not asking for what we want, we end up having expectations of others. We feel as if they can read our minds and know what we want without having to express it. Expectation is defined as "a prospect of future benefit." Because of this desire for a future benefit, we habitually deprive or withhold something desirable from ourselves for some outward goal or the love of someone in our lives. This is referred to as Sacrifice. For example, you think, "I will do this certain thing for my spouse, and when I do, she or he will love me more for it." Another example is thinking "I will pick up my child's toys, and he or she will learn from that and then pick up his or her own toys." We also have expectations of ourselves based on what we think others want of us, and they become shoulds; examples are "I should be a better parent" or "I should be happy around my spouse all the time." Because of fears we carry within ourselves about relationships and asking for what we want, we hold these expectations as a desire or a hope, wanting them to come true. We then sacrifice ourselves with these expectations, depriving ourselves of our wants. We become angry and disappointed when they do not come true and then feel guilty for having expressed the anger. In reality, we are angry with ourselves for not speaking up and asking for we want and need. To resolve this, we need to observe when we run our lives by shoulds or expectations and instead then communicate to others our desires and make agreements with each family member. Successful family relationships depend on how well we communicate. By using these tools, you will learn how to listen and communicate with each other. You will empower yourself and your family members. And you will create more joy, love, and peace in the family household.
Igniting lives on fire
www.fraserstirling.co.nz
Sunday, November 6, 2011
BENEFITS OF SETTING GOALS
The first key note speaker at the conference at the weekend was talking about goals and how they set them. It was good to hear a different way of approaching one of my favourite topics.
I thought I would share why goal setting is important:
1. Greater Peace of Mind. There is nothing in the world like
going to bed at night knowing you are investing the days of your
life in the areas of your chosen endeavor. Nothing brings you
greater peace of mind than having the certainty that you are
consciously creating your destiny, living a life of your own
design. Goal getters realize that you create your life goal by
goal. If you want a better life, set better goals. Simple really.
2. Clarity of Purpose. Having carefully chosen goals gives your
life greater meaning. Show me a person who doesn't know their
passion or purpose in life and I will show you a person who
either has no goals or pursues goals with no personal challenge
or meaning. People who actively and systematically pursue
meaningful goals feel a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment
in life. What you are doing right now is either taking you way
from or towards your dreams. Goals help us navigate throughout
our journey. Our goals are a reflection of who we are.
3. Greater Productivity and Focus. People with goals direct
their day, instead of their day directing them. People with goals
know their desired outcome and are less likely to waste time on
unimportant matters. When you know your outcome, you avoid
distraction. You understand the people and pursuits that feed
your desires and those that do not. You know where to invest your
time and energy. You also learn where NOT to spend your time.
4. Greater Personal Growth. Each time you pursue a new goal
outside your comfort zone, you contribute to your own personal
growth and advancement. Pursuing goals causes you to stretch and
learn about yourself and the world around you. What was once
difficult often becomes easier and you long to conquer new
heights. Nothing in the world will give you a zest for life like
consistent growth.
5. Higher Quality of Life. Quite simply, people who have goals
get more out of life. The more life you give to your goals, the
more your goals give life to you. Having goals means you value
your time and make the most of it. When you know what you want
and have a plan to get there, the journey is a lot more fun than
having no goals and no plans. Having goals makes life easier.
People who set goals are happier and more fulfilled. When you are
happy and fulfilled you take loving care of yourself and have
more of yourself to give to the people you love. Happy, fulfilled
people attract other happy and fulfilled people.
6. You Attract a Higher Quality Peer Group. People who have
goals and are moving towards them are energized and full of life.
When you have goals for your life, you attract other people who
have goals of their own. And we are well aware of the power of
association. You become like the people you hang around.
7. Increased Confidence and Self Esteem. Each time you make a
commitment to a goal and invest the very best of yourself towards
it's attainment, you gain more confidence and self esteem,
regardless of whether or not you achieve the goal. Your
subconscious mind knows that you gave your all and that
strengthens your confidence muscle. Progressive action always
leads to growth and greater fulfillment. People that do not set
goals never venture outside of their comfort zone. Deep down they
know they are not realizing their potential and feel bad about
themselves. People with goals are fully alive and dare to take
risks that elevate their place in life. Whether they win or lose,
they learn and grow.
8. Contribution to Others. Whether or not you know it, someone
looks up to you. If you have children of your own, they are like
little sponges, absorbing the words you speak and the actions you
take. Your behaviors serve as model to the people around you.
Maybe it's your sibling, a coworker or even a kid down the
street, someone looks up to you. Every time you set a goal and
act on it, you serve as a shining example of a person who is
moving towards realizing your full potential in life. Whenever
you pursue a goal, you inspire others to do the same.
9. Goals Help You Become a Better Person. Don't set goals for
what you can get. Set goals for what they will make of you. Set
goals for who you become along the way. People who set goals and
follow through, develop the skill of overcoming obstacles. People
who follow through on their goals and commitments develop an
inner strength and unshakable character. People who do NOT set
goals never discover how great they can become. They never awaken
their dormant gifts and talents. Whenever you set and commit to a
goal and follow through on your commitment, you strengthen your
character and personal integrity.
And finally what is perhaps the biggest benefit of setting and
pursuing goals...
10. For the benefit each individual goal will bring to your
life. As you begin to master the art of goal setting, every goal
you set brings it's own unique positive result or benefit to your
life. When I work with private coaching clients, before they set
a goal, I ask them to determine 10 deeply compelling, personal
reasons why they must achieve the goal they are considering
setting. When you do this, you give yourself all the clarity and
motivation you need to fuel you beyond obstacles, all the way
through to the goal's completion. If you cannot identify the
benefits in advance, you probably would not bother setting the
goal the first place. You can visualize your outcome by reveling
in the results before they occur.
So if you have not given yourself the gift of learning the art
of goal setting, perhaps it's time.
By moving towards our ideal we are igniting the fire within.
www.fraserstirling.co.nz
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