7 Small Steps

How many times have we told ourselves in complete earnestness, “I’m going to be more organized and productive from now on.”? Or that the diet starts tomorrow? Or that we’re going to make a real effort to exercise now?
Only to have that enthusiasm fizzle away, and all our best intentions come to nothing?
It’s the most common thing in the world (besides bacteria) — the honest and fervent desire for self-improvement, followed by inaction or giving in to temptations, followed by guilt or giving up. Bridget Jones captured it best, writing her constant resolutions into her diary. “Will definitely go to the gym this afternoon.” Only to be followed by a binge of pastries followed by drinking and smoking.
We’re all Bridget Jones. It happens to the best of us. It’s inertia at work, mixed with a bit of laziness as well as the very human trait of giving in to desires despite all the good intentions in the world.
So how do we beat inertia and temptations? Four basic ways, really:

1. Get moving, a bit at a time. Inertia is beat only by movement. Once you get going, momentum builds up and inertia is no longer a factor. So the key is to get started, and you do that not by trying to go from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds, but by trying to go from 0 to 5mph in a day or two. That’s doable. It’s all about baby steps. Once you get going, you’re golden.
2. Be accountable. Laziness, the second culprit, is beat by a bit of public pressure. We all get lazy from time to time (or, to be more honest, all the time), and there’s nothing wrong with that. But to beat laziness, we must apply a bit of pressure, in the form of accountability. There’s nothing wrong with a little pressure, as long is it’s not overdone. Pressure is a motivating thing, especially when it’s positive. Positive pressure includes encouragement from family or friends, an online forum, a help group in your neighborhood, or the readers of your blog.
3. Ignore failures — giving in to temptation is OK. We will always give in to temptation. Plan for it, accept it, move on. There’s no need to beat yourself up.
4. Motivate yourself. Most importantly, you want to really want it. It’s not enough to feel pressure to do something — you have to really desire it. I mean, really desire it, not just think it’s something you should do, or that you’ll be a better person for doing it. If pressure gives you the push toward your goal, motivation gives you the pull.

Given those strategies for beating the obstacles to making your desires become reality … how do we implement them? How do we go from theory to actual action steps? Easy. Seven simple steps, that you can do today. Really. Do them today.
1. Make a date. Right now. All the good intentions in the history of the universe mean nothing if you don’t actually get started. And the only way to get started is to take action, right now. Not tomorrow, not later today, not in an hour, not when you finish reading this article. Right now! Look at your calendar, and make an appointment to create your action plan, or to take the first action (“Go walking at 5:30 p.m. today in the park,” for example). What’s the first action you can take to make your desires a reality? Create a healthier meal plan for tomorrow? Create a place for everything you use at work, so your organizing system doesn’t fall apart in two day? Decide what that is and make an appointment for it, right now. Second part of this step: make that appointment the most important appointment on your schedule, more important than a doctor’s appointment or a meeting with your boss.
2. Set a small, achievable goal. Remember, inertia is a powerful force. If you haven’t been exercising for a couple years, it’s hard to get started. You’re used to the way things are, and even if you want to change, it’s difficult. So don’t start out trying to conquer the world. Just conquer something exceedingly small. It might sound wimpy to say, “I’m going to walk for 10 minutes” or “I’m going to do 10 pushups and 1 chinup”, but those are much more likely to beat inertia than, “I’m going to exercise for 45 minutes today.” Be realistic, and make it very very achievable. It’s the only way to beat inertia.

“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” - Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back

3. Commit thyself, big time. It’s this commitment that will keep you going after you overcome inertia. Sometimes we get filled up with enthusiasm, but then a few days later, that enthusiasm wanes and we submit to our old buddy laziness. Now, I’m not anti-laziness — just the opposite, I assure you — but we can’t let it stop us from making our dreams come true. So instead, make a commitment, publicly. State your small, achievable goal, and tell it to as many people as you can. Call or email friends and family, tell all your coworkers, join an online forum related to your goal and tell all of them. Put it on your blog. However you do it, make sure people are aware of your goal, and that there’s sufficient pressure to overcome laziness.
4. Baby steps, baby. Again, inertia is a very strong force. I’ve said it before, but this is a very important step here: the best way to change is through baby steps. One small step at a time. Don’t try to bite off too much. How is this different from the above step, setting a small and achievable goal? It’s the same concept, but extended beyond the initial goal. It’s taking things one little goal at a time, a bit at a time. For example, let’s say you want to run a marathon, but currently your running regimen consists of running to the bathroom during commercial breaks while you’re watching Lost. So do you go out and start a marathon training plan? Nope. You start by walking 10 minutes a day. Then, when that becomes a habit and too easy, walk 15 minutes. Then 20, then 30. Then jog a minute, walk a couple minutes, jog a minute, and so on, for those 30 minutes. Then jog 90 seconds, and so on, until you’re running for 30 minutes. Do these steps a week or two at a time, so that all of a sudden, you’re running for 45 minutes every other day … and you barely noticed the progression. That’s the way you get to a goal … small progressions that are barely noticeable. Not by killing yourself the first day out.

“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” - Woody Allen

5. Hold thyself accountable. You’ve committed yourself publicly … but it’s not enough to tell people your goal. You have to make it clear that they must hold you accountable to reporting to them your progress. Then report your progress to them regularly. Daily is better than weekly. Reporting to them makes sure that you will think twice about being lazy and forgoing your action plan.
6. Motivate yourself. We’ve already discussed accountability and commitment, which are ways to put positive pressure on yourself — a form of motivation. Those are great, but you also want other types of motivation. You want to find ways to make your progress feel great … either through rewards, or the positive way you feel about your progress, or the positive way you feel when others see how well you’re doing. Find a few different ways to motivate yourself — the more the better. Incorporate these into your plan. Tell people about them. Let them help push you along.
7. Just keep doing it, no matter what. You’ll encounter obstacles, and falter and fall. Just get up and keep going. You’ll face temptations and give in. That’s OK. Just keep going. You’ll make mistakes and get discouraged. No matter … just keep going. Learn from your mistakes, and … keep going. No matter what happens, keep going. If you’re taking baby steps, you’re holding yourself accountable, and you’re actually doing something, you’ll get there.

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one” - Albert Einstein

CREATE WHAT YOU SEE IN YOUR MIND.

The more clients I see the more I see that humans are very predictable. The same as in the classroom where i have worked as a teacher for a number of years.   

Have you ever wondered how children can sit through replays of their favorite Lion King or Little Mermaid video? It amazes me that they’ll watch the same show every day without a single complaint or request for something new.

What’s more amazing, though, is that adults do the very same thing with their days. The majority of men and women play “movies” in their heads, day after day, relentlessly focusing on past events, most of which are unpleasant and disturbing experiences. If they’re actually able to stop their contemplation of past events, then they allow impressions of their current surroundings and recent results to govern their thoughts.

If they contemplate the future it is usually by worrying about it, or wishing that something better might come along. Then they wonder why bad things keep happening to them, or why they never rise above the issues and obstacles in their lives.

While it is true that people are free to think anything they please, as long as they remain set in their ways, there is very little that can be done to change the unpleasant experiences that keep cropping up in their lives.

Recently, the study of the mind, and its veritable unearthly power, is at last taking its proper place in modern civilization. Proper use of the mind and its various faculties will give you anything you choose – but the emphasis here is on the word “proper.” To move in this direction requires study and focused, consistent effort with a good measure of creativity stirred in.

Just as the oak tree develops from the gene that lies within the acorn and a bird develops from the gene that lies asleep in the egg, so too will your achievements grow from the organized plans that first begin with your imagination. An image in your mind is the first stage of the creative process in life. From your imagination your visions and plans arise.

In his best selling book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill wrote, “You will never have a definite purpose in life; you will never have self confidence; you will never have initiative and leadership unless you first create these qualities in your imagination and see yourself in possession of them.” He went on to say, “… imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.”

There is a concept called “Fantasy – Theory – Fact.” The premise underlying this concept is that everything has its origination in the form of Fantasy, which some adventurous souls dare turn into a theory and then boldly turn into fact. Give this serious thought for a moment. The idea of moon landings, communicating by email, traveling on jets, cellular phones or wearing synthetic garments was, a very short time ago, sheer fantasy. Today, they are considered commonplace.

Your marvelous mind has factors that you can, with little effort, develop to use to improve the quality of life, not just for yourself, but for human kind. Imagination is one of those creative faculties. The individuals who were responsible for the conception and creation of the email, cell phones and any of the thousands of modern conveniences we enjoy today had a highly developed imagination.

Furthermore, they were not easily influenced by the opinions of the masses, the naysayers who historically have criticized and ridiculed anything they do not understand. These pioneers used their mental faculties to fantasize, to build wild and wonderful pictures in their mind. Then, holding their thought with their will, they watched their fantasy unfold into a theory and then into fact. They seemed to have an innate awareness that if they could visualize it, they could do it.

Use this power to let your mind play. Fantasize a much better life than you presently enjoy. Draft your future with imagination, ponder and calculate with intelligence and awareness, then knit it with care. Next, devise paths and find tools to help get you there.

Commit to reach new goals. The only barrier separating you from your goal is ignorance – ignorance of how simple, and simply powerful, your mind really is.

Choose something and make steps toward it.

Igniting the fire within. 

www.fraserstirling.co.nz

Dare to Dream

I was blessed today being allowed to see my two children.  I haven't been able to see them for a number of years.  It has all come about so quickly.  It reminds me of what we have been looking at over the past few weeks.  The importance of taking action and being clear on  what we want.  It was a dream I have had for a long time.  Therefore today I thought of sharing about dreams.
What will your life be like when you’ve achieved your most deeply held dreams? Let’s take a look at how you can start living your dreams this very day.
Do you have a dream, a vision of the life you wish to live?
 How specific is that dream?
 How clear is that vision?
 How do you intend to reach it?
 What obstacles stand in your way?
 Are your fears holding you back or are you using them to move you forward?
Your fears can actually lead you to success. Fear is an intense emotion. But that doesn’t mean it has to control you, or even stop you. Fear can prepare you and push you forward just as strongly as it can hold you back. Fear heightens your awareness and increases your physical strength. Fear brings your mind to sharp focus. With all that going for you, does it make sense to just run and hide? Of course not. Fear gets you in shape to take action!
Are you waiting for things to get better before moving ahead? If you’re serious about success, you need to start taking action today. If you’re waiting for things to be perfect, you’ll wait forever and nothing will ever get done.
The way to achieve is to bloom where you’re planted, to do what you can, where you are, with what you have. It’s easy to think up excuses for not taking action. “If only I had more hours in the day. If only I had a better job. If only I could meet the right person.” But excuses won’t bring you anything of value. You’ve got to change your “if only” into an “I will.” “I will make better use of my time. I will work on improving my career. I will create and nurture my relationships.”
Take a chance. Have faith in yourself. Your circumstances will improve when you make the effort to improve them. Start where you are right now. You have everything it takes to reach for whatever you desire. Stop wishing. Use your time, your energy, your thoughts and efforts to make it happen! You’ll be glad you did!

Ignite the fire within!!!

www.fraserstirling.co.nz

The Art of Visualization.

Recently I have been reading about the power and the importance of visualization. The ability to first create in our mind. One of my main mentors is Dennis Waitley and I love his phrase if you see it in the mind you will see it in the hand.

The art of visualization helps you make your goals part of your subconscious reflex habits, like brushing your teeth or driving your car. Imagine that you’re driving home. Think about the steps you take. You start the car, turn left at the light on Main Street, take a right to the expressway, and head west to the foothills. These interim steps break down your final objective into easily segmented steps.

Psychologists call this interior model or template a “cognitive map.” The cognitive map gives you an image by which to check progress at every moment. If you expect to reach a landmark in less time than you are taking on this particular trip, you might speed up a little to get back on pace. Scientists refer to the process of adjusting your actions to fit your image of what is right as using a “negative feedback loop.” This doesn’t mean that you berate yourself when you get off track. It means you mentally correct to the target.

This week begin to utilize or increase your utilization of the art of visualizing your dreams, so that accomplishment of your goals simply becomes a habit!

Or as Covey would say"See the end in mind".

Want to know more....

The Quiet- Paul Wilson

Psychocybernetics. Waltz

Many many other great books too.

Igniting Lives on Fire

www.fraserstirling.co.nz

What are your intentions?

Good intentions are useless until they are expressed in appropriate action.

Good intentions may be an appropriate starting point for achievement, but they will go nowhere unless you follow through with action. Many people confuse intentions with achievement; after all, it is the idea that is most important, they reason. In reality, the most mediocre idea acted upon is far more valuable than a flash of genius that resides only in your mind. Developing the habit of action may be difficult at first, but the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. This was where I was until I decided that I had talked for too long and had thought for too long. It was time to move from merely intending to be and or do and start doing.

So where are you today? Are you merely thinking and wishing you would start that business, start that more jog, start saving, start exercising or start going to the local gym. What have you been putting off that you should have started?

When you start putting things off, you will start igniting the fire within.

www.fraserstirling.co.nz

How many ways am I wealthy and abundant?

There is a saying that we get what we focus on. Recently I have allowed my mind to focus on the less desirable things. Finally I started to realise what I was doing and tuned my mind to what is already working for me.
These are some of the ways I am already wealthy and abundant...

1. A Positive Mental Attitude – purposefully think pleasant thoughts and these thoughts will exhibit “attraction power” that will draw good things into your life. For example, focus on finding that single perfect flower and when you do, buy it and display it on your table or desk for all to admire. Costs little, but pulls in positive vibrations.

2. Sound Physical Health – eat well, exercise daily, and move your body hourly for optimum results.

3. Harmony in Human Relations – talk less listen more. Condition yourself to consider another’s point of view.

4. Freedom From Fear – exchange your fears for faith and refuse to worry about something that you cannot control.

5. The Hope of Future Achievement – set simple goals and live up to your expectations. Start small and work up!

6. The Capacity for Faith – read faith based stories for inspiration, and seek out similar experiences in your own life.

7. Willingness to Share One’s Blessings – give from your current earnings, not only from your surplus.

8. A Labor of Love – do something that you enjoy for the PURE joy of doing it.

9. An Open Mind on All Subjects – challenge yourself to grow and exceed the space you now occupy in the world. Go beyond where you are and learn something new.

10. Self-Discipline – budget your time and money and create a daily plan for the maintenance of sound health. A little done each day adds up in a month’s time.

11. The Capacity to Understand People – school yourself in the nine basic motives that inspire people to do things. Next consider your primary and secondary motives – good or bad. You are where you are in life because of the actions you take.

12. Economic Security – plan for your financial security by saving a set portion of your weekly income. Never become someone’s servant or slave due to lack of personal finances.

Shortly after I was reminded what Napoleon Hill comment on regarding poverty. So I have included a summary from one of his great writings as well.

Poverty is the result of a negative condition of the mind, which practically every living person experiences at one time or another. It is the first and the most disastrous of the seven basic fears, but it is only a state of mind, and like the other six fears, it is subject to the control of the individual.

The fact that a major portion of all people are born in surroundings of poverty, accept it as inescapable, and go with it all though their lives, indicates how potent a factor it is in the lives of people. It may well be that poverty is one of the testing devices with which the Creator separates the weak from the strong, for it is a notable fact that those who master poverty, become rich not only in material things, but also rich and often wise in spiritual values as well.

I have observed that men who have mastered poverty invariably have a keen sense of Faith in their ability to master practically everything else which stands in the way of their progress; while those who have accepted poverty as inescapable show signs of weakness in many other directions. In no case have I known anyone who had accepted poverty as unavoidable, who had not failed also to exercise that great Gift of the power to take possession of his own mind-power (as the Creator intended all people should do).

All people go through testing periods throughout their lives, under many circumstances, which clearly disclose whether or not they have accepted and used the Great Gift of exclusive control over their own mind-power. And I have observed that along with this Great Gift from the Infinite go also definite penalties for neglect to embrace and use the Gift, and definite rewards for its recognition and use.

One of the more important rewards for its use consists in complete freedom from the entire seven basic fears and all the lesser fears, with full access to the magic power of FAITH to take the place of the fears.

The penalties for neglect to embrace and use this Great Gift are legion. In addition to all of the seven basic fears, there are many other liabilities not included with these fears. One of the major penalties for failure to use the Great gift is the total impossibility of attaining peace of mind.

Fraser

Are you living your dreams?

Are You Living Your Dreams?

If the answer is no, then ask yourself “why not”? Life is short, and you never know when it will come to an end. Do you really want to say that you lived a life of unfulfilled dreams?

But “hold it!” you say. “I’m waiting for the perfect time” or “I’m waiting for the perfect situation”. All this waiting is an excuse not to go out and try. Or, maybe it’s not that you are “waiting” per se, but rather that you are afraid.

So, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of making a mistake? Afraid of making the wrong choice? Are you afraid that you may not be good enough, or that the people around you might laugh at your dreams, or won’t support you? Are your fears enough to stop you?

And what happens if you do end up living your dreams? Are you afraid that once you get there then you’ll have to live them? Meaning that what you’ve been talking about for so long will now come to fruition and you might not actually succeed?

As a coach, I find that fear is the number one reason that people do not live their dreams. Fear holds us back, sometimes paralyzing us, and prevents us from moving forward. But, when you look back at your life, what do you want it to be about? Do you want to say, “I could have” or “I did”? The choice is yours. What legacy do you want to leave behind?

How do you move past your fears and live your dreams? Follow these easy steps:

1. Acknowledge That You Have Dreams:

I meet so many people who say that they don’t have dreams or they can’t remember what they are. You know what your dreams are, you really do. You’ve just pushed them down so deep that it might take some time to bring them to the surface again. Let them out, you deserve to live them.

2. Write Down Your Dreams:

How can you live your dreams if you can’t see what they are? Write them down. Don’t judge your dreams or wonder “how?” Just do it!

3. Realize That Dreams Come True In Steps:

Your dreams cannot come true until you take a small step. It doesn’t have to be a large one. It just has to get you moving. Small steps are the steps that will get you to your dreams. Until, one day, you realize that you are there.

4. Face The Barriers That Are Keeping You From Living Your Dreams:

What’s keeping you from living your dreams? Not enough money or time? Too many responsibilities? Look for ways to overcome this. There will always be a reason not to do something. It’s up to you if you want to give into these reasons or not.

5. Find People Who Will Support You:

Select people who will love you and cheer you on as you move toward your dreams. Tell them how much you love and appreciate them. You do not want to live your dreams by yourself.

6. Pat Yourself On The Back For Your Successes:

You deserve it! The fun part of living your dreams is the journey. It is the road to success that builds character and the part that you will remember the most.

7. Be Comfortable With Fear:

There are times when you will wonder if you have what it takes to fulfill your dreams or if you deserve to live them. Fear is a normal part of the process. If you can accept that sooner or later you will be afraid, then you don’t have to spend time worrying about what you will do when fear sets in. The only way past fear is through it and not around it. There is no other way.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!