FINDING YOUR PASSION

In my time studying leadership and evaluating effective leaders, I have stumbled across a leadership shortcoming that amazes me. Leaders will manage a team, work with the same individuals every day, yet hardly know anything about their people! These leaders have never prioritized acquainting themselves with the dreams, thoughts, hopes, opinions, and values of those they lead. How powerful it is to know what makes our fellow workers tick. The best leaders are readers of people. They have the intuitive ability to understand others by discerning how they feel and recognizing what they sense. I have found that leaders overestimate the amount of time and effort needed to get to know someone. In fact, in only one hour with you in private conversation, I could, probably by asking three questions, find the passion of your life: What do you dream about? A person’s dreams are powerful revealers of passion. When a person starts to talk about their dreams, it’s as if something bubbles up from within. Their eyes brighten, their face glows, and you can feel the excitement in their words. What do you cry about? Passion can be uncovered by peering into the hurts deep inside a human soul. The experience of pain or loss can be a formidably motivating force. When listening to a story of grief, you hear a voice thick with emotion, you see watery eyes flooded with feeling, and in that moment you glimpse the intense connections between a person’s deepest pain and their greatest passion. What makes you happy? I have fun hearing what makes people tick and seeing the smile that comes when they talk about where they find joy. Enjoyment is an incredible energizer to the human spirit. When a person operates in an area of pleasure, they are apt to be brimming with life and exuding passion. If you can uncover a person’s dreams, hurts, and joys, you’ve discovered the central dimensions of their life. Igniting the fire within www.fraserstirling.co.nz

WHAT IS MY REWARD?

I have recently been preparing an application for a new opportunity that has opened before me. As I have been updating my details, I was reminded of the keys in creating what I want, rather than chasing someones ideal. It takes a bigger person to make $20,000 in a month than it does to make $20,000 in a year. Not a better person, but a bigger one: a bigger risk taker, a bigger thinker, someone with bigger willingness and creativity. In the same way that creating any kind of measurable success requires more from us—as in a long, happy marriage or a satisfying and meaningful career or a fit and healthy body—earning the bigger dollar amount requires a bigger person. And many of us want to be that bigger version of ourselves, to expand our consciousness to include all the riches life has to offer, including money. Yet many of us are held back.If I didn't submit my interest I would still be in the same place. We have to do different things to get different results. Before we go any further, let me be clear: I don’t believe money solves all of life’s woes. On the contrary, I see money as a magnifier, both in lack and abundance. Any time you move outside your comfort zones with money, it magnifies the circumstances of your life. If you have a great relationship, if you’re spiritually connected and you’re healthy, then an abundance or shortfall of money will make that seem even greater. (The high life with extra cash will be fun and joyful; the tough times will make you appreciate what you have in other areas of your life.) If you’re in the converse, money will magnify that, as well. (Life will seem bleaker and more lonely at the top and more impossible and desperate at the bottom.) A Couple of Bad Ideas The most common problem in this area of wealth is based on two beliefs: I’m not worthy or Money is bad (or will make me bad). People may not articulate those two beliefs so clearly, either to themselves or to others, but of the unconscious limitations that hold people back from the wealth they consciously desire, these two are the most likely psychological roadblocks. Where do these ideas come from? They are usually the result of early conditioning. I’m not worthy can stem from any number of childhood events or issues that wind up leaving us feeling as if we don’t deserve more than anybody else. As an adult, it looks something like this: I’m not good enough to earn that much money, or I’m not any better than anyone else, so why should I expect to earn more money? But who among us would say to a friend, “You know, you’re smart enough. Stop learning because you’re bound to make someone else feel stupid,” or “You’re already very healthy. Don’t you feel bad that you can bench press 220 pounds when there are those who can’t do 40?” or “Your daughter is quite well adjusted. Maybe you should back off on encouraging her self-esteem or she will be more confident than her peers”? The I’m not worthy idea about money is on pretty shaky ground when you put it in the context of other accomplishments, isn’t it? How about the other one, Money is bad? More often than not, this equally insidious idea comes from a misinterpretation of religious principles about wealth. Although according to John 10:10, Jesus Christ announced he had come to earth to give us life more abundant, many of his followers today have somehow decided that lack was Christ’s legacy, that abundance of any kind, and particularly monetary wealth, is sinful. So many of the scriptures have been misquoted or taken out of context to support this idea. For example, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God,” (Matthew 19:24). The point here was not that there’s something wrong with being rich, as it’s often interpreted. Instead, according to Paul Pilzer, economist, biblical scholar, and author of God Wants You to Be Rich, Jesus was explaining what God expects of us if we are to go to heaven, and pointing out that for those of us who acquire material wealth, we are called to do even more. We bump up against some interesting beliefs when we start talking about giving, too. What most of us need to remember is that giving is an integral part of receiving. Wealth is something like a teeter-totter, requiring balance on many levels. One of those levels is giving-receiving. Many of us say, “Oh, I’ll give money away when . . .”. When we make “enough.” Or when we make “extra.” But giving is a habit that’s easiest developed with less money instead of more. Do you think it’s easier to give $1 out of $10, or $100 out of $1,000, or $10,000 out of $1 million? A great example of this is income, which has two balancing elements: psychic rewards and monetary rewards. Monetary rewards are the paycheck; that’s obvious. The psychic rewards come from doing something in alignment with your purpose, from doing something that meaning for you. In any profession or career, the ideal is to balance both types of rewards. If one is insufficient for you—either your pay is great but the job stinks, or you love the job but can barely cover the mortgage—then you will ultimately be unhappy in that role. The mistake most of us make is thinking that if we just hang on long enough, the income will balance itself: in time, the sacrifices we make will be noticed by management and compensated, or the money will come to be fulfilling in and of itself. Sorry, it just doesn’t work that way. Then how can we increase our income, both in terms of psychic and material rewards? It all comes down to mindset. Remember these keys: You are compensated based on three factors: 1) perceived value, 2) the actual value you deliver, and 3) the ease with which you can be replaced. Improve one or all of these areas to increase your income. Remember, money is a magnifier, both in your life in general and in the workplace in particular. What you do well will be magnified with an increase in pay, and what you need to improve will also come into sharper focus. Be the first one to notice and take action. So as I continue to refine my application I am keeping those key ideas of the reward in the fore front of my mind... What about you? What are you doing to ignite the fire within you? Are you taking steps to make the most of this day? Ignite the fire within. www.fraserstirling.co.nz

IS LIVE WORTH LIVING?

Over the past while as I’ve sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life’s roller coaster . Recently I have been really digging deep and I believe four simple words that can make living worthwhile. First, life is worthwhile if you LEARN. What you don't know WILL hurt you. You have to have learning to exist, let alone succeed. Life is worthwhile if you learn from your own experiences—negative or positive. We learn to do it right by first sometimes doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people's experiences, both positive and negative. I've always said that it is too bad failures don't give seminars. Obviously, we don't want to pay them so they aren’t usually touring around giving seminars. But that information would be very valuable—we would learn how someone who had it all then messed it up. Learning from other people's experiences and mistakes is valuable information because we can learn what not to do without the pain of having tried and failed ourselves. We learn by what we see, so pay attention. We learn by what we hear, so be a good listener. Now I do suggest that you should be a selective listener; don't just let anybody dump into your mental factory. We learn from what we read, so learn from every source; learn from lectures; learn from songs; learn from sermons; learn from conversations with people who care. Always keep learning. Second, life is worthwhile if you TRY. You can't just learn; now you have to try something to see if you can do it. Try to make a difference, try to make some progress, try to learn a new skill, try to learn a new sport. It doesn't mean you can do everything, but there are a lot of things you can do, if you just try. Try your best. Give it every effort. Why not go all out? Third, life is worthwhile if you STAY. You have to stay from spring until harvest. If you have signed up for the day or for the game or for the project, see it through. Sometimes calamity comes and then it is worth wrapping it up. And that's the end, but just don't end in the middle. Maybe on the next project you pass, but on this one, if you signed up, see it through. And lastly, life is worthwhile if you CARE. If you care at all you will get some results, if you care enough you can get incredible results. Care enough to make a difference. Care enough to turn somebody around. Care enough to start a new enterprise. Care enough to change it all. Care enough to be the highest producer. Care enough to set some records. Care enough to win. Four powerful little words: learn, try, stay and care. What difference can you make in your life today by putting these words to work? www.fraserstirling.co.nz Fraser