Too Busy to rest??

Welcome to my Blog.
It is funny that for so long I have been chipping away and working on my coaching business, however the site was just delayed and delayed. Finally I thought stop waiting for the right tim and just get it out there.
I thought I would start with a comment on making the most out of each day. In the past that meant doing as much as I could. I have come to learn that there is also a rest moment needed. This is just as important as the activity.
Therefore today I'm discussing resting.

Regular relaxation is essential for a long life and personal effectiveness. Here are some techniques for relaxing physically that are used by people throughout the world.

Take Time Off Every Week
First of all, work only five or six days per week, and rest completely on the seventh day. Every single study in this area shows that you will be far more productive in the five or six days that you work if you take one or two days off completely than you ever would be if you worked straight through for seven days. This has foundations back in the bible. God made the earth in 6 and rested. Take note for ourselves.

Get Your Mind Busy Elsewhere
During this time off, do not catch up on reports, organize your desk, prepare proposals, or do anything else that requires mental effort. Simply let your mind relax completely, and get busy doing things with your family and friends. Maybe work around the house, go for a walk, engage in physical exercise, watch television, go to a movie, or play with your children. Whatever you do, discipline yourself to shut your mental gears off completely for at least one 24-hour period every seven days.

Get Away on Mini-Vacations
Second, take one three-day vacation every three months, and during that time, refrain from doing any work. Do not attempt to catch up on even a few small things. If you do, you keep your mental gears in motion, and you end up neither resting nor properly doing work of any quality. You may think its not worth it or I can't afford to. The benefits from this will have you making it a thing you look forward to.

Take Big Chunks of Down Time

Third, take at least two full weeks off each year during which you do nothing that is work-related. You can either work or relax; you cannot do both. If you attempt to do a little work while you are on vacation, you never give your mental and emotional batteries a chance to recharge. You'll come back from your vacation just as tired as you were when you left.

Give Yourself a Break Today
If you are involved in a difficult relationship, or situation at work that is emotionally draining, discipline yourself to take a complete break from it at least one day per week. Put the concern out of your mind. Refuse to think about it. Don't continually discuss it, make telephone calls about it or mull it over in your mind. You cannot perform at your best mentally if you are emotionally preoccupied with a person or situation. You have to give yourself a break.

Go For a Walk in Nature
Since a change is as good as a rest, going for a nice long walk is a wonderful way to relax emotionally and mentally. As you put your physical body into motion, your thoughts and feelings seem to relax all by themselves. This is one of my favourites. Anthony Robbins talks about this being the hour of power. To make it even more beneficial you may like to adopt some breathing techniques while doing this.

Eat Lighter Foods
Also, remember that the process of digestion consumes an enormous amount of physical energy. Therefore, if you eat lighter foods, you will feel better and more refreshed afterward. If you eat more fruits, vegetables, and whole-grain products, your digestive system will require far less energy to process them.

Be Good to Yourself
Since your diet has such an impact on your level of physical energy, and through it your levels of mental and emotional energy, the more fastidious you are about what you put into your mouth, the better you will feel and the more productive you will be. We know now that foods high in fat, sugar, or salt are not good for your body. The lighter the foods you eat, the more energy you have.

Action Exercises
Here are three things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, plan your weeks in advance and build in at least one day when you will relax from work completely. Discipline yourself to keep this date.

Second, reserve, book and pay for your three day vacations several months in advance. Once you've paid the money, you are much more likely to go rather than put it off.

Third, decide that you will not work at all during your vacations. When you work, work. And when you rest, rest 100% of the time. This is very important.

Remember that I am here to help you ignite the fire within.

Do I have to???

I wish personal growth would just happen! I wish I would just get better and money would fall out of the sky. I wish my waist would get smaller even as I sit on the couch in front of a warm fire eating Breyer’s Vanilla Bean ice cream. Oh, how I wish it was easy!

Okay, enough whining, enough dreaming, enough lack of reality. I have it out of my system! The reality is that it is work to grow personally. The sooner we realize that, even lovingly embrace that, the sooner we jump on the highway of success! The fact is that we “have to” do some things!

In order to attain your goals and desires you have to...

You have to know what it is that you want.
Wanting personal growth isn’t enough. Do you want more money? How much? Do you want to lose weight? How much? Do you want a spouse? Who? Do you want to travel? Where? Do you want more freedom in your professional life? What would that look like? Clearly define in your mind what it is that you want! Once you do…

You have to decide that you really want it.
Do you really want it? That is the place to start, really, because I have realized working with people that many of them really don’t want what they think they want once I talk them through all of the issues. Is this what you really want or is it a dream you have to escape something else? For example, do you really want to quit your job and start your own company? Do you want the risk to reputation? The risk of capital loss? Do you want to work from six in the morning until nine at night, seven days a week for the next two to three years? Do you really want it? Yes? Proceed…

You have to be willing to sacrifice to get it.
What will you give up to get personal growth? I know what I have to give up to be able to fit into size 32 pants—mud pie! Now, you may not think that is so bad, but you don’t know how bad I love mud pie! I know that it is a sacrifice for me to get to the gym every day of the week (okay, I usually take two Sunday afternoon’s a month off). I know how much I write the check out for each month to belong to the gym—it would feed a small army. This is sacrifice, all of it. What are you willing to sacrifice to get personal growth in your life? Are you willing? Then proceed…

You have to be willing to be criticized.
Surprisingly, the average person doesn’t like the average achiever. Why? Because they make the average person feel, well, average. They resent that the achiever makes choices they don’t make, even though they could too. And they secretly resent that the achiever benefits from rewards that they don’t. It seems odd, but working with thousands of people over the years I have seen enough jealousy and envy to fill every seat in the Rose Bowl. Can you handle that to various degrees? Then see number five…

You have to decide you want it more than other pleasures.
What is more pleasurable: ice cream every night or a proper weight? What is more pleasurable: sitting on the couch or pounding away on a treadmill? What is more pleasurable: spending your money on the things you want right now or saving for later? What is more pleasurable: getting off at five every night or working endlessly on the weekends? What is more pleasurable: reading a favorite novel or a technical book? What is more pleasurable: four weeks of vacation or one? You get the point. In order to grow personally or professionally, there will have to be a desire to work hard in spite of the pleasures that call your name. And if you work it right, in the end there will be plenty of time to reward yourself with the pleasures of accomplishment. Do you want it more than other pleasures? Really? Then let’s move on…

You have to take a long-term approach.
Why do most people fail to accomplish their personal growth goals? Because they take a short-term approach. They know what to do. They do it for a week or a month, then they quit. Every January the gym gets so busy. Then February rolls around and I have no problem getting on the machines! In order to accomplish your personal growth goals, you absolutely, positively, must view it as a long-term goal. For example, when most people want to lose weight, what do they do? They change their diet until they lose it. Then what? They change it back and gain the weight back. Instead, they ought to say, I am changing the way I eat for the rest of my life and slowly but surely my weight will take care of itself. And it does! Are you capable of seeing your personal goals in the long term? Well then you are ready for number seven…

You have to diligently, methodically and relentlessly work at it.
Every day, every week, every year. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. For 25 years Zig Ziglar has read for three hours a day! No wonder he oozes information! That is diligence. That is methodical. That is relentless! Can you do the same for yourself in the area you want to grow in? Certainly! But will you? That is the question. If you do, you will achieve any dream you set forth for yourself!
You can achieve personal growth! It is entirely possible for you to live your dreams! Put the above to work and you will see them unfold before your very eyes! Just remember, it won’t just happen to you, you “have-to” do some things!

Doing the Have Tos helps ignite the fire within.

What do you believe?

I give myself the green light to move forward, and joyously embrace the new! - Louise L. Hay

The quote by Louise reminds me of our beliefs. We live up to the thoughts which we continually hold. Our beliefs need to change before we are able to move froward. Old beliefs must be replaced before we can make headway. This is what the above quote is referring to. We have to give ourselves permission to move on. It's not enough to know what we think or believe, we need to change the though process.

For us to move on we need to address the beliefs that brought us to where we are. They can simply be beliefs that we learn from others, parents, teachers and or our social group. They hold us where we are.

What are some beliefs?

I don't have time.

No one likes me.

No one has done it before.

Food makes me fat.

When we can identify where we are (beliefs) it is important to identify where we want to be so that this gives us freedom (permission) to form new ideas. Beliefs aren't bad, we simply need to acknowledge that they hold us where we are at this moment in time.

Remember that to move on into new things/ areas we first must accept that our beliefs brought us here. In order to move you we must change the beliefs we hold.

What thoughts are you holding? Did you need to do some rewriting of your thoughts?

Remember to ignite the fire within.

Fraser

Taking control

I was thinking about yesterdays post and thought that there was still so much to share. How do we get conscious of what we are doing and take control?

• Take 100% responsibility for your life. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who's fault it is. What are you going to do about it? Abdicating responsibility doesn't get you off the hook for making something happen. Instead, it renders you powerless and a victim. Stop blaming and finger pointing and look inside at what you do.
• Get clear about what you want. Just like ancient mariners used the compass to maintain direction during storms, your clearly defined objectives point the way forward when all hell breaks loose. You can steer yourself to clear waters instead of getting dashed against the rocks. The clearer the outcome the better likely you will be to achieve it.
• Purposely look for opportunities. To build your unshakeable mindset, you'll need a little practice. When you are clear about what you want, consciously look for ways to get closer. Soon enough, you'll retrain your brain to show you the best path through. Tune into things you want.
• Pay attention to your dominant emotions. When life strikes, are you drawn to finding blame or to correcting your course? I don't mean for anyone to ignore the emotions that pull us back, but don't give them all of your power. Grieve, mourn, get angry...but then bring your emotional awareness back to possibility. This is huge. Notice what you are feeling, this is a guidance system warning or encouraging us to think more of the same.

Remember my desire is to see you develop a fire that drives you to success.

Are you feeling stuck?

Have you been feeling stuck?  Is it like you are hitting a brick wall?  Here are some ideas on how to get moving again....

1) Challenge your Self-limitations : 

The biggest culprit in destroying Dreams is our own self-sabotaging thoughts.   We need to work on these before even considering further  progress. There are a lot of ways to do this including by working on what I call your 'Golum' thoughts and creating empowering Beliefs.   Golum is the personification of the protective thoughts  that run in our heads at times and which limit our life  by putting excessive fear in risking and in trying out  new things.   Our Golum might tell us things like: 'You've failed before, what's to stop you from failing  again' or 'Don't go out of your comfort zone or you will get pain'.  Challenging these thoughts and creating new empowering  beliefs is a crucial step to trigger off your journey  towards life success.

2) Charge your Body and Language: The way we move our  body and the language we use have a powerful effect on  our feelings and emotions.   Working on particular body movements and specific words we use can create a shift in our emotional status and  motivational levels. By energizing our body movements  and using transformational words we can shift our  mental states to more empowering ones.  Action is key!!Anthony Robbins talks about the hour of power.

 3) Clarify your Principles and Values: We all need a  compass to direct our journey.   We also need to be aware of who we really are - what  innate qualities dwell within us that are just waiting to be tapped and celebrated. Clarifying your Core Values  through specific Values clarification exercises is a  vital step towards empowering you to take clear decisions without too much hesitation.   Clarifying your Values will help you to identify your  personal gifts and what direction you will choose to honor in your life.  I have several tools to help you identify your key passions if you are unsure?

 4) Connect to your Dream and Life Purpose: Clear Values  will help you to delve deeper and identify your Life  Purpose. Through exercises such as the Universal Life Secrets program you can discover the True Mission and meaning of your life as well as tap the BIG Dream you want to achieve.  Until we have a reason to live, we are merely filling a void. Start living now. What gets you up in the morning?

5) Create it in your Mind: Once you discover your Dream and Life Purpose you need to start working on Manifesting it.   The first creation is in the mind. By believing in  your Dream and doing specific visualization exercises  you will pave the way for success.You have to first see it in the mind.  I have several tools and tips to help if you need and or would like... 

6) Commit Yourself Completely: Commitment is a crucial  factor in ensuring success. You can't look over your  shoulder once you have a passionate Dream to follow.  There's no turning back when you have inspired yourself  to achieve higher standards and identified what you will no longer accept in your life. There comes a time when you will need to 'burn the bridges' and march forward with a clear sense of commitment.  No more excuses.  Make a choice.

7) Convert your passion into Action: There is no such  thing as effortless success. Don't believe anyone who  tells you that you can just sit back and attract good  luck and abundance simply by thinking yourself into it.   In order to succeed you must take massive action - right away after you take the decision to live your Dream.  If it is to be then it is up to me. Chase your dreams.

8) Continue persisting with consistency: Persistence  and perseverance is what finally births success.   It is the sheer will to continue on your chosen path,  the focus of consistently hanging on to your Dream,  watching the signs that Providence provides and immediately acting on them. 

9) Consolidate and Expand: Once your Dream starts  manifesting it's important to continue raising your  standards, expanding your boundaries and taking time  to recreate yourself. Consistently doing things that  raise your standards will ensure that you develop yourself to your peak performance.  Am I better today than I was yesterday.  This can be small gains..walk to the lamppost and back. $1 in the bank....build it bit by bit. 

10) Contribute to a Higher Cause: Achieving self mastery will prompt you to look beyond your self-fulfillment.   Your new confidence and success will attract others to  you and you will find yourself able to lead and  communicate a shared Dream. Your ability  to create a Legacy that will outlive you will be  the apex of True Life Success.  Looking back over the years I just marvel at the  amazing changes that these 10 Vital Keys have brought  into my life. 

I am also marveled each time I experience  the powerful and life changing effects that occur in  the people I coach when they start applying these keys in their life.

I love coaching people to ignite the fire within themseleves. When we stop hiding behind our excuses we then are free to light the fire for the things we want, rather than doing what others want us to say and or do.

Make the choice and ignite the fire within today.  Be so on fire for your passions that people cant stand the heat you radiate.  

What a kick up the back side does?

Last week I was blind sided and hit from behind while waiting at an intersection. It reminded me of the importance of living my life and not allowing others to live it for me. Eg others making my decisions and or just watching TV...filling in time.

It is so important to be living in prime time, rather than watching TV in prime time. On your way to success make certain you grow friendships, not just bank and mutual fund accounts. Life is a collection of memories, not of material things. The Egyptian pharaohs were buried with all their treasures, and were mummified in hopes that they could enjoy their bounty in the next life. But we are only caretakers of possessions. There is a big difference between standard of living and quality of life. Standard of living is based on income earned. Quality of life is the enjoyment of the millions of minutes in between accomplishments.

Having money is only one aspect of wealth. To the sick person, wealth is health. To the lonely person, wealth is someone to talk to and share with. To the estranged person, wealth is hearing words of love and forgiveness.

Borrowing the free verse style from Brother Jeremiah's classic poem, I'd Pick More Daisies, here are a few things I'd do, the second time around.

I'd laugh at my misfortunes more. Spend more time counting my blessings than my blemishes. Spend more time playing with my children and grandchildren and less time watching performers in the arena. More time enjoying what I have, less time thinking about the things I don't have. If I could live my life again, I'd walk in the rain more without an umbrella and listen less to weather reports. I'd spend more time looking at trees and climbing them, less time flipping through magazines made from dead trees. I'd spend more time fully involved in the present moment, less time remembering and anticipating. I'd smile more, frown less.

And most of all I'd be more spontaneous and active, less hesitant and subdued. When some spur of the moment idea came up to go hiking, playing Frisbee, coloring Easter eggs, singing in a chorus, going kayaking, or watching an eclipse, I'd be less likely to sit in my chair objecting, "It's not in our plan."

I'd be inclined to jump up and run out the door next time and say, "Yes, we can!" Although I can't live my life again, I'm still going to live the new way every day any way. I'll never have all the moments I've missed, but I do have all the time remaining.

Hopefully I don't experience the feeling of that afternoon again. However one good side is that it has got my thinking back on track.

Action Idea: Choose one activity this month that you really want to engage in, but that you have been putting off because it isn't a priority. Schedule that activity in your planner, as if it were a "must do" business or financial commitment. When you have done it, while you are still feeling good, schedule one for next month, and do it as long as you live.

How one man made his seminar a success.

I am a very avid fan of Bob Proctor.
Here is his personal recount of how he got his self started...

As you step in the front door of the home I lived in on Maple Wood Lane in Glenview, Illinois, in 1973, there was a room immediately to your left I referred to as the den. Imagine a small room, approximately 12 feet by 12 feet. There are two very comfortable chairs on one wall, with a window in between. The opposite wall is a love seat. There are a couple of plants and pictures on the wall, a rug on the floor and that would be it.

As I go back in time, I see myself sitting in the first chair on the left hand side as you enter the room, with a pen and a pad. I'm beginning to write a description of the company I am going to build. I feel myself experiencing emotional discomfort. I have just left my position as Vice President of Sales with the Nightingale-Conant Corporation. I had been there for 5 years, and I am feeling a little insecure having left there. I know it is my old paradigm having flashes of control over me.

It's an odd thing. Intellectually I knew feeling insecure was silly. I had built a very successful company on my own prior to joining Nightingale-Conant; I could do it again. I had well over a decade of serious study of the human personality. I clearly understood why we do what we do and why we don't do many of the things we want to do.. Regardless, that feeling of insecurity was there. I am sure you know what I am talking about. I had worked with Nightingale-Conant for 5 years, and I realized that working for someone else, receiving a paycheck from them over a 60- month period had created a relationship in my mind where the company and my security were connected. They were writing the check; they were looking after me so I was secure.

Intellectually I knew that was a false concept, but I wasn't dealing with my intellect, I was dealing with my emotions. I was dealing with my old paradigm. We're raised with the idea, get a good job, you'll be safe. It's such a false idea and yet it's one that a high percentage of the population believes in.

Fortunately, I understood what was causing this emotional discomfort. It was the paradigm, and I would not let the paradigm win. Intellectually I knew if I built one company I could build another and that's what I intended to do.

With pen and pad in hand I began to describe what I was going to do with my life from that point on. I had once heard Earl Nightingale say that we should find out what we love to do and then dedicate our life to it. When he said that I made a physical and mental note of it. I had an innate understanding that that was one of the beautiful truths we should all live by. And that idea was running around my mind as I sat preparing to mentally create my company.

I knew what I loved doing. I loved teaching people the Truth. I loved showing people how their paradigm is nothing but a multitude of habits that had been fixed in their subconscious mind by other people. It was robbing them of their dream. It was controlling their thinking. It was controlling their life. I love teaching people how to recognize and change that.

I made up my mind sitting in that little 12 x 12 room that day that I would dedicate the rest of my life to this work. With that decision made, quitting was not an option. My dream had to manifest. There was only one way to go.

Initially my new company consisted of just a few notes on a lined pad. But those few notes triggered a picture in my mind that was awesome. And I had enough experience under my belt to know that all you have to do is hold the picture and then follow your feelings. Your feelings will direct you on what your next step is. I think Thomas Carlisle put it very well when he said, "Go as far as you can see; when you get there you'll see how to go further."

The first step became obvious. If I was going to teach a seminar I would have to write one first. I had sufficient information but it had to be organized into a seminar format. Another thought came to my mind almost simultaneously -- go ahead and sell the seminar and then you'll have to write it. I had two people that wanted to work with me. One lived in Belleville, Ontario, about 150 miles East of Toronto. The other one was in Gary, Indiana. I was planning on moving back to Toronto from Chicago. So I decided we would do a seminar in 3 different cities each week: Belleville on Monday night, Toronto on Tuesday night and Gary, Indiana on Thursday night. It would be an 8-week seminar, 3 hours each week from 7-10pm.

I sold it, wrote it and taught it all at the same time during that 8 week period. I wrote the first seminar and the week I was teaching it I wrote the 2^nd one and so on. It was a busy 8 weeks. I clearly remember the last week of the seminar series . the last seminar was on leadership. I worked all night and then lay down on the floor and went to sleep. The seminar was taken to the printer. When it was delivered to the hotel in Belleville on Monday night for me to teach, the ink was still wet on the paper. That was a crazy 8 weeks. Although the experience was worth millions, I sure would never want to do it again.

That's where it all started.

Then I sold the seminar to The Prudential of America Insurance Company. It was highly successful.

The seminar was showing people why they weren't doing the things they really wanted to do. It explained how their mind operated on two different levels. The Conscious Mind is our thinking mind. It's where we make our plans. And sometimes that is where the plans stay - they never see the light of day as the Subconscious Mind controls our behavior. If you are going to realize your plans and turn them into results, you must deposit those plans in the treasury of your Subconscious Mind. That requires changing the conditioning.

Right from the beginning we were very successful. The word of what we were doing was spreading. We were invited into various companies and into other countries.

Every cent that we earned was pumped back into the Company. I believed this was a safe bet because I was betting on me. I had eliminated all options. The company must grow; it must continue. I could not lose. I often wonder about people who want to be in business for themselves but don't want to spend any money to do it. A lot of people start a business and say "I'm going to give it a try." That never works. You must give it your all.

I was invited to Australia to do a seminar. I had to go to the Australian Embassy to get a Visa to enter the country. I got talking to the man that ran the Australian Embassy in Toronto, and I ended up selling him a license to operate our company in Australia.

Based on a write up in Success Magazine, I got a call from Malaysia from a man in Kuala Lumpur. I ended up conducting seminars for all the insurance companies in Malaysia and Singapore. Our company was selected over a number of other companies to conduct a complete program for all the personnel of Malaysia Airlines from the Captain to the baggage claim personnel, from the board of directors to the ticket counter representatives.

I was virtually living on an airplane. Fortunately, I don't mind flying, and I get a lot of work done when I'm in the air. However, I knew that if the company was going to continue to grow I could not be the only one that was teaching seminars.

It was then that we decided that we would set up a consulting/facilitation division where individuals who had a desire to do what I was doing could purchase a license to teach all of our material. That concept has been very successful and enabled LifeSuccess Productions to be represented in approximately 90 countries around the world.

Like any business, ours had its ups and downs, but I always refused to quit. After all, I had burned all my bridges.

I can't think of anything where I could get more satisfaction than that which I enjoy in this business. As I'm writing this, I am getting ready to fly to Zurich in a few hours, from there to Los Angeles, then to Phoenix, then onto Helsinki in Finland. That's this month. And that's only a part of what I'm doing. I believe this has to be the most exciting business there is. I've been in it since 1968. Every year I enjoy it more than the prior year.

Bob Proctor